Monday, February 2, 2015

The day I found out I was pregnant

Let me preface this post by stating that I am not a strong believer in coincidences.  I believe in divine appointments and divine intervention.  

I will clarify, though, that I see coincidences in minor things, like coordinating colors with my co-anchors on the same day - or going to a restaurant for a specific item and seeing that it is the daily special.

Sure...that's coincidental. 

Then there are life events that are undoubtedly orchestrated by God that reaffirm our faith and our purpose.

When Matt and I decided that we were "ready" (whatever that means!) to have a child in the fall of 2013, I truly thought that it would not take more than a couple of months to find out I was pregnant.  Heck, we were both healthy, active, young-ish, and had no reason to think otherwise.

Add in my Type A personality, and you best believe that I had ovulation kits, thermometers, apps, and a plan.  It was going to

Then it didn't.  While it did not take years, it took several months - long, disappointing months.

I was neurotic about taking pregnancy tests days before I would have even been able to see two pink lines.  After the first two months, I had already depleted whatever budget we might have envisioned for pregnancy tests.  That led to bulk purchases of what I called "science experiments" (much more complicated than peeing on a stick) from the Dollar Tree to satisfy my testing fervor, $1 at a time.  

Winter passed, spring came, and 25+ science experiments only continued to confirm that I was still not pregnant.

Every evening, Matt and I would pray together about a pregnancy.  I would say words and want to mean them, like, "If it's your will, God," and "In your timing," mixed with, "I surrender this to you..." 

But no matter how much I wanted those words to reflect the feelings in my heart, they were empty as I was focused on myself and what I thought the best plan would be.

Still, we prayed.  

"The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."  Romans 8:26

It was in March 2014 that Matt and I started talking much more seriously about adoption.  We were both still confident that we would have biological children one day, but started wondering if this delay was meant for us to pursue adoption first.  I have always felt an equal desire to carry a child biologically and to adopt.

Maybe that was the answer.

We got the wheels in motion by completing the orientation with the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), enrolling in the next round of MAPP classes (part of the certification process) and talking about this option with family and friends.

Then something happened inside of me.  No, not a baby growing:)  Instead it was an idea and conversation about children in need that turned into a conviction.  I knew that if I did not pursue this path, that we were being blatantly disobedient in God's call to care for orphans/parentless children.

The conviction for these kiddos is not something that I could turn off in my professional life.  I met with my news director about launching a new adoption segment and found a new energy and joy with my career that I had never experienced.  Work was not work, it was a mission.  

Here's an excerpt from a March e-mail to the DCFS office about the idea for the segment:

"I can’t think of anything that would be more fulfilling using this media platform than to connect a child with a mom, dad or family. I definitely understand that there are limitations in the information that we can share and assure you it will be treated with extra sensitivity and the sole purpose of using TV as a service.

Who do I need to speak to in order to get moving in the right direction?

I really appreciate your help and hope that we can further a partnership that makes a positive impact on this community."

Since then, we have formed a fabulous partnership and I am thrilled that several of the children we featured since the segment debuted last May are now in adoptive placements or in the final stages to be placed with a family.

So what does this have to do with pregnancy?  I'm getting there:)

By the time May rolled around, I felt different.  I could pray and say the word, "surrender," and actually mean it.  I could see other people around me and not be so focused on what had caused me to live life with blinders for several months.

On May 29, I had a work day to look forward to - I was set to have a girly day at Club Tabby with a foster child hoping to be adopted.  Her name was Danielle and we snapped this picture before parting ways that day. 

I rushed back to the office after spending twice as long on the interview as I had anticipated and then hopped in my car, stomach growling and pulled into the Wendy's on Lake Street - ordering a salad I never got to eat.

It was on this day that I am so grateful my eyes were open to someone other than myself, because I saw a family in desperate need across the street at a bus stop and felt God's presence, telling me to do something.

The next morning, I wrote about the events that unfolded with this mother and her three children in a post entitled, "Turn around and do something."  I had been deeply moved by the community stepping in so fast to meet the needs of strangers who had been homeless the day before.

May 30 was the date and I can remember feeling absolutely overcome with emotions as people shared the blog, then offered food, beds, couches, and money to help this family.  

When I got home from checking in on my new friends that afternoon, it dawned on me that May 30 was the day I could start up another round of pregnancy tests.

On this day and for the first time ever, it was positive.    

Maybe some won't see any sort of connection between the struggle, the stress, the adoption heart change, the family in need, and the pregnancy.

For me, though, I can see God's hand in every detail - working on my heart and the unveiling of my eyes to so much more.  

I learned first-hand that when we are obedient, it is impossible to not see God's faithfulness.

We are now days away from having our first child, officially certified to adopt our next child, and still in touch with the sweet family I met at a bus stop on a hot afternoon in May.

As Matt and I embark on our biggest adventure yet - welcoming a baby girl this week - I hold onto God's promises that always ring true.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9



  1. So beautifully written! Having babies of my own (Celia-2 and Roman-6 mth), my cup runneth over for you! God bless you and the hubs on your new journey! It's CRAZY GOOD! And by crazy.... I mean Crazy. Really! Best wishes!

    1. Thank you, Lydia! I love the names of your little ones! I can't wait for the crazy goodness of parenthood:)

  2. Britney you are truly the working hand of God. I can definitely see Gods work in your life in the past year. It's amazing to be able to reflect back and really look at the bigger picture. This blog is amazing and one of my faves other than your blog "turn around and do something" tht I've also read cried and enjoyed! -God bless you!

    1. Awww! Tonya, thank you so much for taking the time to share such encouraging words. God bless you, friend!

  3. Thank you for sharing your story, Brittney! I love hearing and seeing God's hand at work throughout various situations. I remember reading your blog post about the family in need back in May and it's amazing to see how all of it connected together, part of God's divine intervention!! I pray many blessings for you, Matt, and Lila Rose in the days, weeks, and years to come! <3

  4. I love reading your posts, Britney!
    You are such an amazing person with all that you do in our community. You have personally touched my life by doing a segment on our son's rare disease. I'm sure you remember sweet Zach. I felt like you cared about us and we weren't just a story for you to cover. Since meeting you, I've followed you more closely and have enjoyed seeing your pregnancy journey.

    If you don't mind I'd love to share a story with you that I believe is purely God's work in our lives.

    May of last year, we lost my mom at just 44 years old. She had found out she was terminal with cancer one month and died just a few short months later. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my life and as a mom of 5 boys, 2 with special needs, I've endured a lot. But nothing could ever prepare me for losing my mother. In September, we found out we were expecting again. A huge surprise to us since me and husband said we were done having children. But of course, we were excited and going to embrace what God blessed us with.

    My sister had planned us a gender reveal for December so we had an early ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby. She was the only one that knew though. Just the day before our ultrasound, I had a ladybug land on me at my son's school. I flicked it off and she came right back. I again moved her off my arm and thought she had gone away. Moments later I got into my car and noticed she was right on my belly. I removed her but thought it was odd to have one so attached to me. I told my sister about it and she had confessed that earlier that day there was a ladybug in her son's room. Perched over our mothers signature on my nephew's first birthday poster. At this point, we felt our mom was with us and this was some sort of sign from her.

    A few days later, we opened our gender reveal box to find PINK balloons. Our first baby girl, after 5 boys. Our family truly believes that this was not only the work of God but my mother had her hand in this. My mom always wanted me to have a daughter but we assumed it just wasn't in the cards for us. God has finally blessed our family with a baby girl who is due to make an appearance in May. Just a year after losing my mother. It's bittersweet.

    We are giving baby girl part of my mother's name and her nursery theme is none other than ladybugs. Your story touched me so deeply because I too have experienced the work of God. Wishing you, your husband and your baby girl many years of blessings and pure happiness!