Fear, Faith, and a Family of Five

There has been a long drought in this blogosphere...

It's because if I had shared what had been going on since the last post almost four months ago, it would have just looked something like this for several weeks:

WHITE NOISE

Followed by...WHITE NOISE.

That is the best way to describe my thoughts, emotions, sleeplessness, etc. while deep into pursuing an adoptive placement Matt and I had been efforting since November - and then this news in February:

Hello, life!

So, here we were a few months ago, set to meet our potential son at his foster home for the first time and digesting the reality that by November, we could have three children under two. 

The logistics of it all felt overwhelming and we still had time to stop the adoptive move from happening.

I didn't know how I was going to get three little ones in and out of the house - into the car (that I will grow out of when three car seats are installed) - into daycare - and back to work in a one hour window of time.

I didn't know how Matt would handle the early morning hours alone with two, then three, when I had to leave the house at 3:15 A.M. for work.

I didn't know how I would possibly be able to nurse an infant while having two one-year-olds running around.  Heck, I just exited pumping/nursing land and am not ready to re-enter!

I didn't know if we would sleep again for the next few years.

I didn't know if Matt and I would have an uninterrupted conversation at home or go on a date again before the posse enters school.

I didn't know if we had the time, patience, and unconditional love that the little boy we wanted to adopt so desperately needs.

I didn't know if we had enough love to spread around for Lila, little brother, and the next addition.

We didn't know A LOT.

And guess what?!  We still don't.

Yet, all of that not knowing brought us to a place of knowing that this big, crazy life is exactly what God wants for us. 

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9 

I assure you that the "plan" Matt and I had for our family didn't involve growing quite so quickly.

We figured we would continue in the adoptive process this year - and maybe, just maybe, add another biological or adopted child to the family in a few years after we were nicely settled in as a family of four.

When we learned that life was moving in a very different direction, fear creeped into both of us.

Should we continue in this adoptive placement?  Should we hit pause and revisit it after the birth of the baking baby?  Is now the right time?

It did not take long before we found ourselves begging God for discernment and clarity.

I found myself asking God, "Please, will you just show me exactly what we're supposed to do? Can you just tell me?"

And then, it's as if he calmly whispered to me, "The answer is right in front of you."

So, I opened up the Bible and turned almost instinctively to the book of James.

It's only five chapters, so I was able to quickly read through it and every chapter had verses stand out which seemed to perfectly describe our situation.  Here are the highlights:

*Consider it joy when you face trials, because the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  When you ask for wisdom, believe God is giving it to you and stop doubting.  (James 1: 2-6)

*Do not just listen to the Word.  DO what it says.  (James 1:22)

*Care for the fatherless. (James 1:27)

*Faith without action is dead.  (James 2:26)

*Our lives are so temporary. (James 4:14)

All of that was in one short book.  Over the next several weeks, I found myself more eager to dive into the Word, listen to more sermons on faith, trust, caring for "the least of these," and refocusing on God's will for my (our) life.

The more I looked, the more clarity and peace I found.

"You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

When we boiled down the source of any of our "no" answers in delaying the adoption process, it was all rooted in the same concern: fear.

I'm not talking about ignoring a protective warning or refusing to seek godly counsel.  

I'm talking about allowing crippling fear to stop us from taking a big step of faith into what God is commanding us to do - and getting out of our cozy, comfy lives that oftentimes keep us from recognizing just how much we need to lean on the Lord.

Saying "yes" to this placement meant saying yes to a tough calling, yes to a bigger faith in God, yes to a new normal, yes to more sleepless nights and even busier days, yes to LOTS of unknowns, and yes to giving a little boy who has spent his entire young life in foster care a permanent, loving home.

I can't wait for the day I can share the incredible story of how we learned about this child and how much he has already overcome.  While he is freed for adoption (parental rights have been terminated in his case), the state requires that he is our foster child for six months until we can adopt him.

Until then, we cannot share pictures of his adorable face or tell you his story.  It's one that we want to be transparent about, because we want to be part of an open dialogue about adoption, foster care, and fostering to adopt.  There are 400,000 children in U.S. foster care today and nearly 100,000 of them are eligible for adoption.  We have got to be willing to open our homes to them, even when it disrupts our comfortable lives.

We are still in the early weeks of transitioning into a family of four.  There have been some rough moments, and less than warm, fuzzy feelings at times.  We are all learning to love each other in a new way and that takes work.  Yet in the morning wake-ups or afternoon story times, there are unexpectedly joyful moments that allow us to catch a glimpse of what a day might look like when we are settled into this big, beautiful life.

And then, we will add another GIRL into our family!

Matt and I couldn't have imagined how much our lives could change since this snapshot six months ago:

There will be five stockings hanging on our mantel this Christmas.

Life can surprise us sometimes.

Don't let fear keep you from stepping into that great unknown.  It's there that God can stretch us, bend us, and reshape us into the masterpieces he designed.

"We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8

And that, my friends, is something we want to exemplify.

-Britney

Hot and bothered

Y'all...it's hot.

Louisiana hot.

On days when I know I'm shooting a story outdoors, I pick out my outfit based on "most likely to conceal mass quantities of sweat."

I had one of those days this week.

I was set to shoot the August feature for KPLC's The New Family Tree, where I interview a foster child who is hoping to be adopted.  We were meeting at Lock Park in Lake Charles and I showed up 15 minutes early to get set-up, while also allowing my camera lens to adjust to the crazy high humidity.

When I made my way to the park's pavilion, I noticed one of the tables was already taken.  A man was sitting there, already sweaty from the day, with his overstuffed duffle bag right next to him.

He didn't turn around at first, but the commotion I was making with my larger than life tripod eventually caught his attention.

"Are you doing a news show here or something?" he asked me.

"Hi there.  I'm taping a segment for a future newscast in just a few minutes.  I'll be sure to stay out of your way, so no need to move if you're comfy where you are,"  I responded.

"What's the story?" he asked.

"There's a boy who has spent a couple of years in foster care and is hoping to be adopted," I said.  "I do these stories once a month in the hopes that someone will see the child, connect with him or her and pursue the adoption."

The man's raised eyebrows lowered and he turned away from me for a few seconds.

I could feel the humid air enveloping both of us as the silence lingered.

"That was me," the man said.  "I was a foster child from when I was 10...until...well, until I decided I would just have to be on my own when I was 16."

It was obvious that the years to follow have been tough on this man.  I could see the rolled up blanket shoved into the top of his bag that wouldn't zip.

He was a drifter without a home.

I sat down at the picnic table next to him.  He told me his name was Vladimir. I would have never guessed that.

I told him my name was Britney.  "Britney Glaser," which he heard as "Iglesias."

"Iglesias?  I wouldn't have guessed that," he said.

So there we were.  Vladimir and Iglesias, talking foster care, adoption, and the fears of a 10-year-old boy when life is suddenly disrupted in the scariest of ways.

"It was hard," Vladimir told me.  "And I have several siblings all over the place."

"How do you think adoption would've affected where you are today?" I asked him.

Sticky, hot, stalled silence followed that question.

Then he answered.  "I don't know..."

I could hear car doors close in the distance.  A boy walked toward me, looking at the ground with his case worker next to him.

My heart always breaks in that first moment I see the foster child and my mind races with questions: "This child?  Why wouldn't a mom, dad, grandparent, aunt or uncle choose to raise this child?  How long has he been in transition?  Why him?"

"Hi there!  I'm Britney and I'm so happy to meet you!"

"I'm J'Von," he said.

"You're such a good looking guy!  How old are you?" I ask.

"Ten," he responds.

My heart sinks and I wonder if Vladimir can hear our conversation.

Ten years old.  That was when Vladimir's foster care journey started, one that would end with no one ever pursuing his adoption.

When I feature a foster child for a television news story, I know that he or she has been in state care for a long time, typically at least a couple of years.  It takes several months for case plans to go from parental reunification to termination of parental rights to free for adoption.  J'Von has already been through all of that in order to be cleared for this interview.

The featured children are also selected by case workers when they feel all other means of trying to get the child into an adoptive placement have been exhausted.  J'Von represents one of the hardest to place groups of children in foster care: African-American, male, and over the age of five.

When we sat down at the picnic table to talk, I could tell how nervous this soon-to-be fifth grader was.  We talked about his favorite things: green slushes from Sonic, catching crawfish, and mud-riding.

J'Von started to relax and I pressed "record" on my camera.

I've never had an audience for one of these interviews, but today I did.  Vladimir sat about 20 feet away from our picnic table, listening in, nodding his head and smiling as J'Von answered my questions.

I stuck to surface level questions for a few minutes: favorite food, subject in school, sport, etc.

Then it came time for the "meat" of the interview.

"Do you understand why we are talking today?" I asked J'Von.

"To get me adopted," he said.

"Is that something you want to happen?" I asked.

"Yes.  'Cause ever since I was little I've moved from place to place," he said.

"Let's talk about the type of family you'd like to be a part of.  Do you want a mom and a dad or would one parent be okay?"  I asked.

"It doesn't really matter," said J'Von, "as long as I have a family to live with."

I asked J'Von if it's scary living in different homes and not knowing how long he will be in each place.  He said he's gotten used to it and he's not scared anymore.

I don't know if that answer was the truth or if J'Von was just trying to be tough.  Either way, both answers bother me and I hope they bother you.

A child should not have to be so accustomed to moving around to strangers' homes that he gets "used to it."

And if J'Von is covering up his fears about this uncertain, transitional life, that is indeed another tragedy.

I gave J'Von a hug after our interview and told him I was incredibly proud of his bravery in doing the story.

I always want to tell the child, "I know someone is going to want to adopt you," but what I've learned is that lots of people do respond after seeing the story air, but baggage scares prospective parents.  J'Von told me himself that he's had some behavioral issues, but that he is working to be better.  He also said having a mom or dad would help him behave more.

I believe him.

I told J'Von he definitely earned a green slush from Sonic for doing this story and he gave me a big smile.

We posed together and his case worker snapped a picture for his life book, something children in foster care have to document memories and experiences.

All the while, Vladimir sat with his duffle bag in the heat, 20 feet away.

J'Von and I said goodbye and I started packing up my camera gear.

"So do these stories actually help?" asked Vladimir, the first words he'd uttered since J'Von arrived 30 minutes earlier.

"They do," I said.  "Not 100 percent of the time, but children are being adopted, more adults are pursuing adoption certification and we are constantly raising awareness about the need for adoptive families."

"I didn't know there were so many children without homes," Vladimir said.

"It's sad," I responded.

I wanted to tell Vladimir I was sorry that he aged out of foster care without a family. That I was sorry his shelter on this 96 degree day was a public park pavilion.  That I was sorry when the holidays roll around in a few months he won't have a place to carve a turkey or share Christmas memories with loved ones.

"It was nice to meet you," is all that I found myself saying as we parted ways.

"You too.  Good luck," he said.

As I drove away, I couldn't help but imagine what will become of 10-year-old J'Von if he is never adopted.

Here's some statistics from Partners for Our Children, a policy center at the University of Washington, where 600 former foster kids were studied after aging out of care at age 18.  By 24 years old:

*Less than half are employed
*Only six percent have a two or four year degree
*Two-thirds of the women are pregnant/have had a baby
*60 percent of the men have been convicted of a crime
*Almost 25 percent have been homeless at some point

Can't we do better for kids like J'Von?

I know we can.  Don't let the "baggage" of a child in foster care turn you away.

Vladimir's overstuffed bag was a physical representation to me of what years of foster care can turn into - a continuation of survival mode, but this time with no real promise of a change.

J'Von has promise.  I hope you can see it.

-Britney

J'Von's story will air in The New Family Tree on Tuesday, August 4th at 10:00 P.M.  Click here to read more about J'Von.

A blog worth following

The online world can be a blessing and a curse.  It can lift you up or pull you down.

When we are looking for answers or support, social media can connect you with people you might not ever meet - but you know that there is a kindred spirit on the other side of the e-universe.

One of those people for me is Shelley Skuster, a former TV reporter at KWWL in Iowa (not I-O-Way, the Louisiana town!).

A former colleague of mine at KCEN in Waco began working at KWWL and I noticed Shelley on her page one day.  What stuck out to me was that part of her professional bio included an adoption blog.

That intrigued me because I had just started navigating the best way to utilize my on air role in a way that could raise awareness about the need for adoptive families in our community.  I was (still am) pretty obsessed with the issue and really wanted to find support from someone who had "been there, done that."

On the personal side: Matt and I had just enrolled in classes to get certified to adopt through foster care.  I was yearning for the personal and professional opinion of how to share this passion with others, while also being transparent about this real life chapter in our marriage and family-building dream.

As soon as I clicked on Shelley's blog, I realized she was living it out and reaching people near and far on her blog, "This Family's Journey."

Yall...I read every single post in one tear-filled day!  Shelley and her husband, Chris, have been open about the pain of infertility, their decision to adopt, the hurdles/stress/money needed to get through the process, and their journey as a transracial family.

Her words will touch your heart and hopefully open your eyes even wider to the fact that love, not blood makes a family.

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind for the Skuster family.  Shortly after the rush of the holiday season, the couple got an unexpected facebook message about a baby girl needing a home.

What would you do if you didn't have a crib, car seat, diapers...or hint of an idea that your family of three would grow into a family of four within a couple of short days?  Heck, it's taken me nearly the entire nine months of my pregnancy to ready our home, our jobs, and our minds for one planned addition!

This couple said YES in a big way to love and raise another beautiful daughter, born in their hearts even before they knew she existed.  Check out how the Skusters are being obedient in the call to care for the fatherless and trust that His ways are always higher than ours.

-Britney

The downfall of sibling groups...

Today is my brother's birthday.  I had just turned five years old the week before Brady was born and one of my earliest memories is his birth.

I woke up to the smell of pancakes filling the house and was excited to see my Great Uncle Jake in the kitchen cooking his famous "silver dollar pancakes."  His presence there also meant that the time had come to get a new brother or sister.

My sister, Courtney, and I were taken to the hospital with our sloppy ponytails and mismatched clothes to meet our new sibling.  And that was it.  The beginning of an automatic, understood bond that forms between siblings.

The differences between the three of us were/are...very different!  But the similarities we share carry on to this day from what we find funny to our mannerisms, impressions of our dad, appreciation for growing up in a simple, but fulfilling way - and the value of family.

Over the past two years, the birthday boy has married both of his sisters.  By married, I mean performed the beautiful ceremonies and reading of the vows:)

Now, all three siblings - me, Courtney and Brady's wife (Brittney) - have babies on the way at the same time.

I cannot imagine a life without my brother and sister.  If I try to delete them from childhood memories and experiences, then those special moments that still make me smile no longer have significance.

But there are some brothers and sisters who shared lives together - only to be separated.  

For children who end up in foster care, this separation is because of neglect or abuse by the people they trust most, yet those adults rattled the lives and stability of their innocent children.

When I received notification in October of who I would be featuring for November's "The New Family Tree" adoption story on KPLC-TV, my heart sank.  For the first time since I started doing the segment, the Department of Children and Family Services wanted me to feature a sibling group.  Not two children, not three...four children, living in separate homes for more than two years, but hoping to be adopted together.

That's not all...they range in age from seven to 12 years old.  There are three boys and one girl, and they are African-American.  Should that matter?  Absolutely not.  But it does when it comes to adoption through foster care.

Age, race and gender are the biggest factors for people when choosing a child to be matched with in adoption.  That trifecta - combined with this being a large sibling group - concerned me that a feature segment with the four could lead to dashed hopes of being adopted together.

One child is a huge responsibility for someone to consider bringing into a home.  Two, three...four.  That's a very special person with a special calling!

For the past two years, the four siblings have been living in separate foster homes.  Fortunately, the older two were placed together and the younger two were placed together.  However, the four only see each other a few times a year.  That is missed birthdays, missed Christmases and Thanksgivings.  There are missed days, weeks and months to experience life together.

When I watched the four reunite for our filming day, I had to choke back the tears.  Dontae, the oldest and softest spoken sibling quietly commented on how tall his brother Leon had grown.  Then I watched Delores touch her youngest brother's face and ask if he has always had a specific mark near his eye.  Then they asked about school and who picked out their outfits for the day.

12-year-old Dontae

Nine-year-old Delores

Eight-year-old Leon

Seven-year-old Hakeem

As a reporter, you are always encouraged to dive as deeply as you can with the person you are interviewing.  Find the emotion.  Let the raw feelings show.  But there is something about interviewing these children in their most vulnerable moments that keeps me from going too deep.

Maybe I do not want to really hear the pain in their voices.  Maybe I do not want to think back to the last time they were all together in one home likely being a traumatic day where state workers came in to bring them to temporary homes.  Maybe it is that I do not want to know what it is really like to be away from the people I love the most and never took advantage of me: my siblings. 

I have been praying for these three brothers and one sister since I met them.  I have also prayed specifically for the mom and dad who would adopt them together.

But the downfall of a sibling group in foster care is that it is oftentimes just too much.  

Each child can be adopted individually.  Someone might just want a daughter, like Delores.  Someone might just want a young boy, like Hakeem.  Or maybe an adoptive parent is interested in a boy who wants to be a cowboy and loves country music, like Leon.  Then there could be someone who feels called to adopt an older child, like Dontae.

While the adoption of any of these children would be deemed a step in the right direction for the child's future to be more stable, I pray that the number of siblings in this group does not lead to them spending even more years in foster care.

I think about my brother and sister and how differently we might have turned out if we had been raised in different homes.  It is unimaginable.

There has to be a mom and dad out there willing to say, "Yes, a sibling group would be a big adjustment, but we have the love to share."  You will undoubtedly get it in return - multiplied by four:)

Britney

Click here to watch the KPLC-TV story featuring the four siblings.

A little less talk and a lot more action

Okay, I'm not intentionally quoting a Toby Keith country song in the title of this blog.  I did, however, go back and forth between those lyrics stuck in my head for this post and Gavin Degraw's "Follow Through!"

They both get the point across that a lot of times we talk about things that matter to us, but we don't act, follow through and make it happen!

So what am I talking about?  If you follow many of my posts, you probably know the issue at hand is the critical need for adoptive parents.

It has been almost six months since a months-long courting relationship with the Department of Children & Family Services (and pleading my case to my bosses) resulted in a regular segment on KPLC-TV featuring local children who are ready to be adopted today.

I introduced you to Ke'vontre in May: 

Next it was Tyrene:

Then Danielle in June:

Darrell in July: 

Deniro in August:

Tyrese in September:

And D'Janae in October:

Guess what?!  After every segment, case workers at the DCFS office in Lake Charles have told me that the phones ring...a lot!

I could also track the number of views on www.kplctv.com for each story - and they were in the thousands!

I know that people's hearts are being pricked about this topic.  I have talked to friends and people in the community who have shared their new burden about parentless children with tears running down their cheeks.

These kids are real.  Their emotion is raw.  Their need is right in front of us...and we're still not doing enough.

Why the blunt statement?  Because these kids and the 60 others in Southwest Louisiana legally ready to be adopted today are still living life in limbo.  

There is the immediate surge of attention...and hope...when the phones ring, but adopting a child requires much more than a phone call.

First: recognize that you might not get called back in a timely fashion.  DCFS workers are overloaded.  Don't get discouraged if you have to pick up the phone a couple of times to get through.  Don't consider it a sign from God if your call is not returned.  The office is busy.  They will get back with you.  Call.  Call again.  Heck, by my third attempt in trying to talk to a home development specialist, my hands weren't sweaty anymore!  My voice was no longer shaky!  I was ready to get down to business and when we finally connected, everything started falling into place.

Second: you have to go through orientation to adopt through foster care.  I asked so many questions on the phone that it counted as orientation!  You could try that method:)  If you have to go to a one night meeting, don't look at it as an inconvenience.  Think about the other people in the exact same boat as you: all taking one of the scariest, bravest, most selfless steps in life.

Third: MAPP classes are a must.  What are these courses?  They are required by every person wanting to get certified to be a foster/adoptive parent.  It is a dual certification that also includes three home visits, background checks and references.  You will become a certified foster home and you will be certified to adopt.  The classes might seem like a long commitment (seven evenings of three hour courses or four Saturday courses of six hour courses), but they are critical in understanding why kids end up in care.  Plus, you'll meet some fabulous people and DCFS staffers in the process.

When Matt and I took part in the MAPP classes this summer, I was thrilled to learn that the classes had record attendance.  I met several people who were there because The New Family Tree features on KPLC opened a conversation in their home that led them to act.  There were also people there hoping to adopt one of the specific children featured.  

But, not everyone followed through.  There was a lot of talk, but even more action was needed.

I'll tell you what my biggest fear is in doing the interview segments featuring children ready to be adopted.  That their hopes are dashed.  That they choke back tears in their interview in order to seem brave to a potential mom or dad, but they have to endure another letdown.

If you are teetering on the idea of pursuing adoption, please consider what's at stake.  A child - bouncing between foster homes and never having a true sense of family.  A pre-teen - lacking a mom or dad to guide them into adulthood.  A teenager - scared about being on his or her own entirely at age 18 without a family base during the holidays and life events.

I am going to once again share the verses at the heart of this issue and pray for more people to follow through and act.

Luke 10:2:  The harvest is great, but the workers are few.  So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields. 

James 1:27:  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

-Britney

Nine-year-old Deniro just wants "a nice parent"

I recently spent a few days at the beach with my in-laws. I have two nephews that are six years old, super active and all boy! They love being outside, playing ball and getting one-one-one attention.

When I met nine-year-old Deniro at Chuck E. Cheese on our interview day, he reminded me so much of my nephews. Even though he is going into the third grade, Deniro is about the same size as my soon-to-be first grade nephews. He is small, but full of personality.

He was wearing a basketball jersey, much like I would expect to see on one of my nephews eager to shoot some hoops with dad. Deniro's reality does not include that part of the equation. He's got the jersey, the ball, the desire to play, but does not have the mom or dad to share in those basic, every day childhood experiences.

Deniro does have fabulous foster parents. The Shaws have taken in 20+ foster children over the past 20 years, even adopting through foster care. At this point in their lives, though, their calling is to temporarily care for a child until he or she is matched with adoptive parents. Deniro has been waiting for several months.

On the day of our interview, Deniro's adoption worker with the Department of Children & Family Services, Katrina Evans, told me that he knew the importance of talking on camera about his desire to be adopted. "It's so important to him," she said, "he talks about it often and recognizes the importance of having a family and I think having that stability and security is just going to go a long way with him."

Deniro definitely has a soft side - something that comes out when you sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with him. "I like to read books and I like to talk to my friends," he said.

When I asked Deniro about his friends, his eyes got teary as he told me about his foster brother that had just been moved the day before to an adoptive placement. While that is great news for the foster brother, Deniro had a heavy heart. "I miss my older brother," he said, "he's kind of like a friend. He's always there for me."

Someone who is still there for Deniro today is his foster father, Wiley Shaw, Jr., training this young man in the polite ways of a gentleman. "He is very respectful. He was taught before he got to me, but we've continued to train him into being a gentleman," he said.

Deniro describes himself as polite and a few other endearing qualities. "I would say I'm kind of funny and I'm kind of handsome," he said.

When I asked Deniro what kind of parents he would like to have, his response was simple: "A nice parent."

Yep. That's it.

Since launching The New Family Tree segment a few months ago, I've had a couple of viewers ask me about whether or not I felt like I was "exploiting the children" by putting them on the news. I know it's tough to see children on TV or a computer screen that are parentless. Yes, they are vulnerable. Yes, it can be uncomfortable for them to open up about how it feels to be living a childhood in limbo. But what is the alternative? Years spent in foster care? A new school every year while moving from one home to another? Callouses growing as another month passes with no hope of things changing?

I appreciate every single child, just like Deniro, who allows me the privilege of sharing his or her story. I would not do this segment if I did not truly believe the end result will be adoption.

These children need their stories to be told. In the words of Maya Angelou, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Please be a part of the efforts to do better for these kids. They deserve it.

Deniro is ready to be adopted today through the Department of Children & Family Services. Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry about Deniro or any of the other children that can be adopted through foster care.

Check out Deniro's story on KPLC-TV's The New Family Tree.

-Britney

​

An unforgettable four-year-old named Darrell

It's very rare that you see a child under the age of five on the Adopt A Child link on the Department of Children & Family Services website.  It's not that there are not young children available for adoption, it's that the state is trying to focus on the hardest to place children in this select group online.

Typically, only 75 or so profiles are listed for the entire state, although there are close to 400 children ready to be adopted today in Louisiana.

When I saw four-year-old Darrell's profile online, it definitely caught my attention.  I thought, "How is this young cutie 'hard to place?'  Look at that smile!"

Then I read his short bio.  Darrell has several medical conditions.  That's a deal-breaker for many.

I have to admit that I was worried when the adoption supervisor with the Department of Children & Family Services (DCFS) hand-picked Darrell to be featured in The New Family Tree on KPLC.  The segment has been incredibly successful so far in matching children ready to be adopted with families.

The children that we've featured up to this point, though, are healthy, vibrant and well-spoken.

Questions started swirling through my head...What about Darrell?  Will there be a response from people when they learn the extent of his special needs?

When I showed up with my camera to one of Darrell's physical therapy appointments, he was having a rough morning.  He cannot talk, but I could see through his crocodile tears how tough this session was on his fragile body.

Darrell cannot walk without assistance.  His goals on this day were to practice with the help of a therapist and special equipment - walking and riding a tricycle down the hallway.

Most four-year-olds have no problem with these skills, but for Darrell it took all of his strength.

I was so moved by watching him fight to get stronger - and occasionally, his big, bright smile would shine through.

Darrell's adoption worker, Desiree' Bellard, says a forever home could transform his abilities.  "Just a home that would be patient with him, they would have to spend a lot of time with him, give him a lot of attention and most of all - just love," she said.

Darrell has been in foster care for more than half of his life. It is going to take a very special family willing to take on Darrell's special needs to bring him the stability and love to thrive.

DCFS will work with an adoptive family to provide the resources Darrell needs at no cost. "He is getting different therapy sessions for his developmental delays and whatever is out there that we can help provide, we will do that," said Bellard.

Even though Darrell is non-verbal, he can communicate.  He lets you know when he's happy, sad, hurting or excited.  ""He's just fun-loving, he's full of energy, he loves to play, he loves things that are musically inclined," said Bellard.

If you have the capacity to embrace this special child and match his excitement for life, you may be the mom or dad Darrell hopes to be with forever. "Darrell can just give life to a family just like any other child," said Bellard, "he'll just make the family more complete."

Darrell is ready to be adopted through DCFS. 

 His special needs make him a candidate for adoption subsidies to help with expenses. 

Call 337-491-2470 to learn more about the adoption process. 

Click here to check out Darrell's story in The New Family Tree.

-Britney

Critical time to adopt 13-year-old Danielle

Beautiful. Sweet.  Playful.  Girly girl.  Smart.  Driven.  Animal Lover.  Polite.  Ready to be adopted today.

 

13-year-old Danielle has been in foster care for several years.  Fortunately, she is in a loving home with a single mom and foster sister, but it is temporary.

Danielle will turn 14 in September.  That's one year closer to aging out of the foster care system.  This year is a critical year to adopt Danielle.  She needs someone to help her see her dreams come true.  She wants to go to college and become a veterinarian.  She wants to be someone's daughter.  She wants what every child deserves: stability, love and someone that is proud to be her parent.

The clock is ticking for Danielle and she knows it.  When I met her at Club Tabby in Lake Charles for our filming day, she was cautiously guarded about sharing her hope to be adopted.  She knows it might not happen.  It hasn't happened for the years she's been waiting, but she bravely agreed to talk on camera with the dream of the outcome being different this time.

We kicked things off with manicures and pedicures.  Danielle had specially painted her fingernails and toe nails for her TV debut, but was happy to remove it in order to get her first "professional nail painting."

Danielle said if she could do anything for one day, this is exactly what she would do.  

I could slowly feel the heaviness this tiny teen carried begin to lighten.

Next, it was interview time.  On a scale of 1-10, Danielle told me her nerves were at a 7.  She knows this is it.  Her biggest chance for a potential adoptive parent to hear her story.

Danielle took off her glasses.  She tucked her hair behind her ears, sat up straight and her foster mother adjusted her leopard print shirt.  Then the questions came.

Do you know what it means to be adopted?

You stay in that place forever.

If a family said that they were willing to adopt you, would you want to tell them anything?

That I'd be excited to come with you.

Does it matter to you if you if you live in a big city or small town?

No maam.

What about the color of their skin?

No maam.

Does it matter if you're the youngest or oldest kid in the home?

No maam.

Danielle has been with her foster mother, Vickie Moreno, for the past three years.  "She has a lot of love, she has a great personality," she said.  "You wouldn't have to instill a lot into her.  She would be bringing a lot with her."

Both Vickie and Danielle's adoption worker, Katrina Evans with the Department of Children & Family Services, know that if an adoption does not happen soon, this beautiful young lady with so much potential is at a much higher risk of aging out of foster care.  "That means if by the time a child turns 18, a permanent home has not been found for them" said Katrina.  "When they turn 18, it can be a scary time."

 

When I asked Danielle if the thought of getting adopted was exciting or scary, she had this to say. "It's a little of both. Scary because I won't know them and I would be going to a new place, but exciting because I would stay there and have a family."

Danielle says she has been through some tough times, but still shines and wants an adoptive family to know this: "That I'm awesome," she said.

Danielle is legally free to be adopted through the Department of Children & Family Services.  Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry.

Click here to see Danielle's story that aired in The New Family Tree on KPLC.

-Britney

Tyrene says he will "give thanks" to adoptive family

Sometimes we just need to have a good cry.

There's something about the privacy and seclusion of my car that gives me permission to let that happen.  Don't worry...the car is parked when the floodgates open.

My most recent driver seat outburst was after wrapping up an interview with a boy named Tyrene.

I first met Tyrene a couple of weeks ago at a foster child celebration event hosted by Trinity Baptist Church in Lake Charles.  It was an eye-opening evening of fun and heartache - all rolled into one mush of emotions.  Some of these children were there with their adoptive parents.  Some were there with foster parents, knowing that it's just a matter of time until they are reunited with their biological parents.  And then there are the others, like Tyrene, fully aware that they are in the system until someone steps up.

For Tyrene, there has not been one phone call throughout his years in foster care.  Can you imagine what that must feel like?

Tyrene does not have behavioral or emotional problems.  In fact, he is the most polite and gentle child I've ever met.  That's not me making a statement just to get you to think about adding him to your family.  It is 100 percent true.

On my second meeting with Tyrene, two cameras, microphones and lights were involved.  I could tell Tyrene was nervous, but he bravely agreed to talk on camera because he knew this could be his best shot at getting adopted.

I started off with the basic questions: 

What grade are you in?

Fourth.

What are your favorite subjects?

Math and reading.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A police officer.

What do you like to do for fun?

I like playing with my foster brother.  We play outside.  I like basketball a lot.  I wash the dishes and the cars, too.  And I like learning about Jesus.

Then the conversation needed to shift to the heart of Tyrene's story.

What kind of parents would you like to have?

Any parents.

Would it matter to you if they were black or white?

That doesn't matter to me.

What about if they lived in the country versus the city?

That doesn't matter either.

What kind of things would you like to do with a family?

Just spend family time together.

Do you know what it means to be adopted?

That I could be in a home forever.

I know you have older siblings, what has it been like being separated from them.

Awful.  

If a family told you that they could give you a home and love, what could you give them?

Thanks.  I would give them thanks.

Tyrene is another "hard to place" foster child.  As an older African-American male, he is likely to spend more time in foster care than other children, particularly those that are Caucasian, younger and female.  This classification as hard to place also means that Tyrene could qualify for financial help to offset monthly expenses.

I pray that you consider adopting Tyrene.  Sure he's a little older and you aren't going to see all of the "firsts" that come with a baby or toddler.  But think about the firsts Tyrene still has left to experience!  His first Christmas with a mom and dad.  His first time at school to write down the names of parents.  His first time to have a forever parent cheering him on at basketball games.  He has a lifetime of love to give and you will undoubtedly receive it in return.

Tyrene is legally ready to be adopted.  To learn more about adopting him or one of the other 350 children in state care, call the Department of Children & Family Services: 337-491-2470 or 1-800-814-1584.

Check out Tyrene's story on KPLC's The New Family Tree here.

-Britney

Lisa Addison: Blessed beyond belief

"Pursue the things you really want or they'll disappear forever."  Those are the words freelance writer, Lisa Addison, read one day that signaled her "aha moment."

Lisa is like a lot women today.  Career-driven.  Independent.  Unwavering in her high standards for faith and family.

Lisa's career brought her across the United States and eventually back home to Lake Charles.  She felt the clock ticking.  

There was no man on the horizon, but she knew she wanted to become a mom.  "I just somehow instinctively knew I would be a mom," she said.  "I didn't know when, didn't know how, but I knew I would be."

The prayers for a family lasted for years.  Lisa never lost hope.

Ten years ago, Lisa decided to pursue adoption through foster care with the Department of Children & Family Services.  She says half of the people in the certification class with her dropped out.

Lisa says she knew this means of adoption could bring heartbreak.  She wanted a young child,  but that also meant that parental rights might not be terminated and the child would be returned to his or her biological parents.

Still, Lisa pressed on with blind faith.  "I specified ages zero to four, male or female, any race and even disabilities."

Over the next two years, Lisa was matched with four foster children, ranging in age from just hours old to 18 months.  She loved them all, but so did their families that needed time to grow into the caregivers that could properly love them.  Lisa gave these babies love in order to make that reunion happen.

Then came an adorable little boy named Hadley, removed from a home where he had been neglected for some time.  "He came running, barrelling into my house," said Lisa.

This was her son and these two instantly became a family.  His adoption was a long road and it took two full years to make him legally hers.

Lisa was blissfully happy, enjoying time with Hadley when an unexpected call came from her case worker.  "She told me that a baby girl had been found," said Lisa, "her birth mother has just been murdered and they found her at a local motel.  She said, 'We want to know if you would consider,' and I said, 'If you hadn't told me all of that, I would've said no,' but I said, 'yes I will.'"

That  baby girl, Lexi, is now a Banner Roll kindergarten student.  She knows adoption changed her life.  

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Adoption means I have a family that loves me forever, that loves me more than everybody and anything except Jesus," said Lexi.

Hadley never has to worry about being neglected again.  "I have a family and they wanted me," said Hadley.

Lisa says she once questioned her career path and whether or not she would ever marry.  Now she says this is the path God had for her all along, leading her straight to a precious boy and girl.

"I am blessed beyond belief," she said, "I have my family.  To me, that's the ultimate."

Check out Lisa's story that aired as part of The New Family Tree on KPLC-TV.

-Britney