"As long as the baby's healthy..."

I am three weeks away from the ultrasound.  You know the one that you look forward to because you learn the gender, but the one that brings jello legs because it is the most extensive ultrasound in the pregnancy - looking at the major organs, the spine and potential problems in the baby's overall development.

It is no coincidence, in my opinion, that doctors have mixed the gender reveal (if a parent chooses it) with the shaky legs ultrasound.  I think it is their way of giving something to look forward to and distract us pregnant women from absolutely worrying about the whole experience.

Matt and I are so excited to learn if our first child is a girl or boy.  I am also hoping that in learning and sharing the gender with people who ask, I can put an end to an awkward comment that is made by well-wishers, but causes a twinge in my stomach!  

"As long as the baby's healthy," is the typical response that follows a comment from me stating that Matt and I don't have a preference over the baby being a girl or boy.  

The "As long as the baby's healthy," comment usually sparks a follow-up from me stating that "We will keep and love the baby regardless," which I've noticed causes a change in the facial expression of the well-wisher.

"Of course, you will," I can almost see in the other person's eyes.  I'm sure they would, too.  It's just the foundation of this response that causes that twinge - the thought that if the baby does not have the healthy outcome, we would not be equally dedicated and excited about parenting him or her.

My heightened sensitivity is definitely the result of a couple of personal experiences:
(1) Meeting several amazing children and their inspiring parents through my series at KPLC-TV called "Faces of Rare Disease."  
(2) The death of my niece, Callie, a precious baby diagnosed with Trisomy 18.

My sister-in-law, Stephanie, and her husband, Paul, have shown incredible courage and faith through the life and loss of their daughter.  Because of them, the prayer that Matt and I pray for our unborn child is that he/she has healthy growth and development in utero, but if  that is not what God has for this child, that we have the strength that only comes from Him to accept whatever outcome and use the experience to be the best parents we can be and grow closer to Him.

I am incredibly grateful for Stephanie and Paul's transparency about what it is like to love and grieve a child that was so wanted.  They agreed to share their thoughts in this post:

From Stephanie and Paul Londenberg:

Having a baby is a time full of JOY.  There are just no other words for it.  

Most everyone you meet is ecstatic to learn of continuation of life - of news that a little one is coming along.  Those of us who are parents and grandparents already know how special a time this is - how there is truly no greater love.  

Throughout the pregnancy, we “ooh” and “ahh” over the expecting parents, making the typical comments and asking all of the traditional questions....  

"How are you feeling?"
"When are/is you/your wife due?"
"Is this your first baby?"
"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

This usually grows into a discussion of how the mother is fine, how the family is excited and does not care if the baby a boy or a girl (most of the time).  And, someone usually chimes in, "Well...as long as it's healthy...."

As long as it's healthy....
Wait. What?? 

Everyone hopes that their baby is healthy - of course, they do!  

We lifted up the same prayer prior to our first son, Jonah, being born.  

But, what if the baby is not healthy?  What then?  Would you change the way you think about your child?  Would you do anything differently?   

Our family experienced this exact scenario when we faced the truth of having a child with serious medical needs just last year.  Early in our pregnancy, we learned our daughter, Callie, would more than likely not survive outside the womb.

We were elated to learn we were pregnant.  We found out on Valentine's Day and knew the gift of a child on that holiday would far outweigh flowers and chocolate, jewelry and date night.

Everything was going as planned.  I had some morning sickness, but felt fairly well otherwise.

Having endured a miscarriage six months earlier, my husband, Paul, and I decided to proceed with additional blood work offered by our doctor to detect chromosomal abnormalities, such as Down syndrome, Trisomy 13 and 18, and as a bonus, to discover our baby’s gender.  

After two weeks of waiting, the results arrived, and we were contacted by our nurse.  I was on my toes ready for the gender reveal, but the nurse instead informed me,  “The doctor would like for you to come in, so that she can speak with you.”  

Getting that call took my breath away.  I immediately knew something was obviously wrong - and wrong enough to have to hear the news in her office.  

I phoned Paul, and we made a mad dash to the doctor's office.  “Please be healthy...please be healthy,” I remember hearing my heart silently pray.  

Being somewhat familiar with the statistics and the outcomes of Trisomy 13 and 18, I even begged God for a diagnosis of Down syndrome all the way to the hospital, knowing that Down syndrome would at least give our baby a chance at life with us.

But, that was not the case. 

Our Callie was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a life-threatening disorder.  Not healthy.  

I think I remember our physician defining it as “incompatible with life" and being very apologetic.  Seriously?  How can anyone be so certain?  Did "incompatible with life" mean there was no hope?  

As we digested the grave news over the coming weeks, we were offered options.  While Callie's chances of survival were extremely limited, the thought of terminating her little life never entered our minds - because she was our daughter, no matter what - and her disorder did not define her.  It was the way God created her. 

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."  Psalm 139:13-15

In hindsight, we recall some people asking why we would not let her go sooner, implying the question of why we did not terminate our pregnancy following her diagnosis. 

Our answer is two-fold:
(1) Terminating any pregnancy is terminating a life.  That choice is not ours to make.
(2) There is always always always hope.  There is always a chance.  

It was not easy.  We argued with God.  A lot.  There was anger.  But He led us to the right people in our lives to help us make decisions as her parents.  

Paul and I, together, entered into parent mode early on and did everything we could for Callie.  We sought information from several specialists to make decisions about her care, because she was/is our daughter - because we would walk through fire for her, just as we would for her older brother.

Our final appointment with our pediatric cardiologist a month before our delivery confirmed the worst, that Callie would have difficulty sustaining life outside the womb without maximum assistance and with little hope for continuation of life.  

As strange as it may seem, this news brought us some peace to know that God truly revealed to us how to care for her with an amazing delivery team, friends, and family guiding us along the way. 

We were scheduled to deliver Callie on October 14, 2013 - the same day we had miscarried a child a year earlier.  But, God had a bigger plan....

Callie Elaine was born an angel on October 4, 2013.  

We learned her heart stopped beating the day before, during our regular prenatal appointment.  

Her birth was truly the most bittersweet moment in our lives, the closest we will ever be to Heaven on earth.  Nothing will top it.  We are happy to have met her and to have spent precious time with her, and she will forever be a part of our lives.

Almost a year later, Callie continues to be our inspiration.  Our hope is that her legacy lives in peoples' hearts.  

She has taught us more about life and love than we could ever imagine.  And, as parents and Christians, we would not have it any other way.  

We enjoyed Callie's physical presence as much as we were able while she was with us, spending our summer talking to her, going to the beach, visiting both grandparents’ houses (complete with cousins!), participating in Vacation Bible School with the “big kids,” playing dinosaurs and Legos with big brother too many times to count, camping, riding a Ferris wheel, going to the movies, walking the dog, shopping, reading books, eating donuts and ice cream (yes, together!), and even searching for alligators with Aunt Britney and Uncle Matt in Louisiana! Those memories are forever etched in our hearts.

One of our greatest lessons is this: when we decide to have children and to be parents, it is all or nothing - you are in it for the long haul, regardless of the outcome, whether your child is a baby with a genetic disorder, a child with cancer, a child prodigy, a difficult teenager, a Grammy nominated artist, or an adult with ALS.

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."  Ecclesiastes 11:5

As parents, do not be afraid of what lies ahead.  Callie brought us great JOY, just as her brother, Jonah, has.  

We miss her and grieve the life we would have had with her, but accept her as she was.

I hold on tightly to what Paul said to me the night of her birth - one child tucked in bed at home and the other watching from above: “Both of our children are exactly where they need to be.”

Pictures are courtesy of the Londenberg family and the 

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization.

Nine-year-old Deniro just wants "a nice parent"

I recently spent a few days at the beach with my in-laws. I have two nephews that are six years old, super active and all boy! They love being outside, playing ball and getting one-one-one attention.

When I met nine-year-old Deniro at Chuck E. Cheese on our interview day, he reminded me so much of my nephews. Even though he is going into the third grade, Deniro is about the same size as my soon-to-be first grade nephews. He is small, but full of personality.

He was wearing a basketball jersey, much like I would expect to see on one of my nephews eager to shoot some hoops with dad. Deniro's reality does not include that part of the equation. He's got the jersey, the ball, the desire to play, but does not have the mom or dad to share in those basic, every day childhood experiences.

Deniro does have fabulous foster parents. The Shaws have taken in 20+ foster children over the past 20 years, even adopting through foster care. At this point in their lives, though, their calling is to temporarily care for a child until he or she is matched with adoptive parents. Deniro has been waiting for several months.

On the day of our interview, Deniro's adoption worker with the Department of Children & Family Services, Katrina Evans, told me that he knew the importance of talking on camera about his desire to be adopted. "It's so important to him," she said, "he talks about it often and recognizes the importance of having a family and I think having that stability and security is just going to go a long way with him."

Deniro definitely has a soft side - something that comes out when you sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with him. "I like to read books and I like to talk to my friends," he said.

When I asked Deniro about his friends, his eyes got teary as he told me about his foster brother that had just been moved the day before to an adoptive placement. While that is great news for the foster brother, Deniro had a heavy heart. "I miss my older brother," he said, "he's kind of like a friend. He's always there for me."

Someone who is still there for Deniro today is his foster father, Wiley Shaw, Jr., training this young man in the polite ways of a gentleman. "He is very respectful. He was taught before he got to me, but we've continued to train him into being a gentleman," he said.

Deniro describes himself as polite and a few other endearing qualities. "I would say I'm kind of funny and I'm kind of handsome," he said.

When I asked Deniro what kind of parents he would like to have, his response was simple: "A nice parent."

Yep. That's it.

Since launching The New Family Tree segment a few months ago, I've had a couple of viewers ask me about whether or not I felt like I was "exploiting the children" by putting them on the news. I know it's tough to see children on TV or a computer screen that are parentless. Yes, they are vulnerable. Yes, it can be uncomfortable for them to open up about how it feels to be living a childhood in limbo. But what is the alternative? Years spent in foster care? A new school every year while moving from one home to another? Callouses growing as another month passes with no hope of things changing?

I appreciate every single child, just like Deniro, who allows me the privilege of sharing his or her story. I would not do this segment if I did not truly believe the end result will be adoption.

These children need their stories to be told. In the words of Maya Angelou, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Please be a part of the efforts to do better for these kids. They deserve it.

Deniro is ready to be adopted today through the Department of Children & Family Services. Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry about Deniro or any of the other children that can be adopted through foster care.

Check out Deniro's story on KPLC-TV's The New Family Tree.

-Britney

​

I'm pregnant, plan to continue my career...oh, and still pursuing adoption

Let's get to first things first: yep...I'm pregnant!  

On pregnancy: It took me a few weeks after seeing the "p" word on the test stick until I could actually say those words.  It's not that I wasn't immediately thrilled - it's that after month after month of negative tests, I prepared myself for another round of nopes.

If you are trying to get pregnant, you know that it can change everything about that monthly moment of discovery.  You know that the clock ticks more slowly, the days drag on and you wait with bated breath leading up to what is disappointment after disappointment.  

I have interviewed women at fertility clinics about the agony that comes with not being able to get pregnant. I have friends who have been there or are currently praying for positive pregnancy news. I cannot imagine their heartache when it never happens - and my heart truly hurts for them.  

For us, it took months - what felt like several long months.  Let me say, though, that I am actually thankful that pregnancy did not happen immediately like I had initially hoped.  The time we spent praying about growing our family definitely grew the desire in both of us to also pursue adoption.  

On adoption: Also is a key word that is incredibly important for me to communicate.  Adoption is not and will not be a second choice option for us - and my prayer is that it is not for others wanting to grow their families.

There are so many families that choose to adopt because they know how many children need loving forever homes.  There are 102,000 children in the United States that are ready to be adopted today!  If we leave that task up to those that are only pursuing adoption because they cannot have biological children, there are going to be thousands and thousands of children still needing homes!  Worldwide, the number is even harder to comprehend: 153 million orphans.

We feel that burden.  It's real.  We have met several of the children that need forever homes and when you see the need right in front of you, it cannot be ignored.

Matt and I are one week away from finishing up adoption certification classes with the Department of Children & Family Services.  We will have a home study, interviews and reference checks within the next 90 days - and then we will officially be certified to match with an adoptive placement.  The certification lasts for a year, then we will go through a couple of easy steps to renew it.  Our plan is to make ourselves available for a placement in about two years.  

The time will come when we can say yes to a placement and I look forward to seeing our family grow in that way, as well.

I've been on the receiving end of several questions/comments from people (with good intentions) in our lives that knew we were pursuing adoption and hoping to get pregnant the good ole fashioned way.  Here's a few examples:

1) So do you think you just aren't going to get pregnant?

2) I have a friend that couldn't get pregnant, then she started the adoption process and she got pregnant!

3) Are you going to go forward with an adoptive placement if you get pregnant?

4) I think you should have a child of your own first to see what it's like.

5) Nothing compares to the feeling of carrying a baby in your belly.

6) Do you worry that you would feel differently for a biological child compared to an adopted child?

On work:

And then there's the inevitable outside career vs. stay-at-home mom remarks:

1) Will you go back to work after you have a baby?

2) How will you be able to handle your early morning hours and take care of a baby?

3) What does Matt think about being home with the baby alone in the mornings?

4) Once you hold that baby, there's no way you'll be able to clock in again.

5) When are you ever going to sleep?  

Again: good intentions, but I think what makes my stomach twinge for just a moment is the idea of expecting people to fit into perfectly-shaped boxes that conform to societal norms.

I can't think of many people in my circle of friends that reflect those "norms."  That's because I don't think most people do!

I appreciate these comments and questions because they typically open up a conversation that allows each party to learn and grow.

Yes I plan to keep working.  Yes, the hours concern me and they can be crazy.  No, I don't like the idea of not being at home when the baby starts his/her day. 

BUT...that's a big "but" (no pun intended)...my career is my calling.  I have worked incredibly hard to be where I am today and while having a baby is already changing my perspective, my career drive is something I see as a positive.  

My job allows me to give back to others - and that ultimately gives back to me.  I hope that as a mother I can pass on the importance of setting goals, reaching them and finding what it is that makes you light up.

I also think I will be a better employee when I become a mother.  From learning to balance multiple tasks more effectively, to connecting with other co-workers that are currently walking this path and as a news personality - connecting with the community through a different set of eyes.

My husband is obviously a big factor in making work...work for us.  He is very supportive and doesn't view a father's time at home alone with the child as "babysitting."  He will be a great, involved father and while our schedules present a non-traditional environment, there are also major pros to that.

We will truly learn what it means to work together as a team.  We will value the role each of us bring in our marriage and in parenthood.  Our child will soak in precious solo time at special parts of the day with each parent and we will spend intentional time together as one family unit.

The point: I guess if this blog post has a bottom line, it's this.  Let's remember that we are all just trying to do the best we can to have a solid marriage, family life, deep friendships and jobs (in and out of the home) that provide.

We might go about life in different ways, but we all need support along the way - so let's encourage that stay-at-home mom who is sacrificing to spend time with her children - and say "way to go" to the career mom juggling work and family - "thank you" to the dad pulling extra hours to save money - and "how can I help" to the person that just had a baby or is adopting.

A little encouragement will energize a person through these life changes.  Trust me, it's meant the world to me.

-Britney

An unforgettable four-year-old named Darrell

It's very rare that you see a child under the age of five on the Adopt A Child link on the Department of Children & Family Services website.  It's not that there are not young children available for adoption, it's that the state is trying to focus on the hardest to place children in this select group online.

Typically, only 75 or so profiles are listed for the entire state, although there are close to 400 children ready to be adopted today in Louisiana.

When I saw four-year-old Darrell's profile online, it definitely caught my attention.  I thought, "How is this young cutie 'hard to place?'  Look at that smile!"

Then I read his short bio.  Darrell has several medical conditions.  That's a deal-breaker for many.

I have to admit that I was worried when the adoption supervisor with the Department of Children & Family Services (DCFS) hand-picked Darrell to be featured in The New Family Tree on KPLC.  The segment has been incredibly successful so far in matching children ready to be adopted with families.

The children that we've featured up to this point, though, are healthy, vibrant and well-spoken.

Questions started swirling through my head...What about Darrell?  Will there be a response from people when they learn the extent of his special needs?

When I showed up with my camera to one of Darrell's physical therapy appointments, he was having a rough morning.  He cannot talk, but I could see through his crocodile tears how tough this session was on his fragile body.

Darrell cannot walk without assistance.  His goals on this day were to practice with the help of a therapist and special equipment - walking and riding a tricycle down the hallway.

Most four-year-olds have no problem with these skills, but for Darrell it took all of his strength.

I was so moved by watching him fight to get stronger - and occasionally, his big, bright smile would shine through.

Darrell's adoption worker, Desiree' Bellard, says a forever home could transform his abilities.  "Just a home that would be patient with him, they would have to spend a lot of time with him, give him a lot of attention and most of all - just love," she said.

Darrell has been in foster care for more than half of his life. It is going to take a very special family willing to take on Darrell's special needs to bring him the stability and love to thrive.

DCFS will work with an adoptive family to provide the resources Darrell needs at no cost. "He is getting different therapy sessions for his developmental delays and whatever is out there that we can help provide, we will do that," said Bellard.

Even though Darrell is non-verbal, he can communicate.  He lets you know when he's happy, sad, hurting or excited.  ""He's just fun-loving, he's full of energy, he loves to play, he loves things that are musically inclined," said Bellard.

If you have the capacity to embrace this special child and match his excitement for life, you may be the mom or dad Darrell hopes to be with forever. "Darrell can just give life to a family just like any other child," said Bellard, "he'll just make the family more complete."

Darrell is ready to be adopted through DCFS. 

 His special needs make him a candidate for adoption subsidies to help with expenses. 

Call 337-491-2470 to learn more about the adoption process. 

Click here to check out Darrell's story in The New Family Tree.

-Britney

A true full circle experience

If you had told two fifth grade girls in Dry Creek 20 years ago that there would be a day when one would be interviewing the other for a local news story on adoption - chances are we wouldn't have believed you!

Marcie (Allen) Dobbs and I met in fifth grade - my first year at East Beauregard.  We both towered over the boys at 5'8" and loved basketball.

Through our junior high and high school years, we had some fun and unforgettable times.  Our circle of friends was much like the crew of gals in the movie "Now and Then."  There were laughs, tears, secret languages, slumber parties that involved no slumber and a bond that can't be broken to this day.

The summer before our senior year made all of us grow up and recognize what really mattered.

We were getting ready for a week "away" at Dry Creek Baptist Camp - packing, doing our hair and make-up - and then our world was shaken.  Marcie got into a terrible car accident after leaving my parent's house and heading back to her house to get her camp bags.

Our friend, Tiffany, and I came across the accident scene before the medical helicopter arrived.  Marcie's crushed car was wrapped around a big pine tree and she was covered in blood, shattered glass - and in shock. It was terrifying to see.

Marcie had multiple injuries and doctors did life-saving surgeries so she could be here today.  Part of that resulted in doctors telling Marcie some devastating news.  "I broke my pelvis in certain areas that the surgeon said when he repaired, it was life-saving repairs and he wasn't able to fix what would help me carry a child and conceive a child," she said.

That news was a tough pill to swallow, but Marcie said when she thinks back to hearing that at 17 years old, it really didn't change her thoughts on becoming a mom one day.  "I knew I wanted to be a parent, absolutely," she said, "but I didn't have the drive that I want to feel the baby move in my tummy.  It was just that I want to be a mommy."

So when Marcie met Chris Dobbs and the two began dating more seriously, she was honest with him about the hurdles that could come with trying to build a family.  "She brought adoption up here and there in conversation," said Chris, "but it wasn't a serious talk until years later."

After six years of marriage, Marcie said she was bit hard by the baby bug.  "It was around Thanksgiving time in 2010 that I said, 'Okay Chris, we're gonna adopt.'  And he just looked shocked and he just said, 'We are?'" said Marcie.

Chris said he had concerns about adoption and the unknowns that come with the process.  "The what ifs piled up in my mind," said Chris, "what if there's something medically wrong with the baby?  What if?  Because you don't know anything about the history of the mother, you don't know anything about the history of the family, so that's always in the back of your mind."

It took about a month for Chris to get on board with Marcie's full steam ahead adoption approach.  By the time the new year rolled around in 2011, Marcie and Chris had met with DeColores Adoptions in Lake Charles and they were knee deep in paperwork, plus completing the assignment of filling up a life book for potential birth moms.  "We showed just how loving we are, how caring we were, how ready we were to be parents," said Chris.

Marcie and her mom, Mrs. Mary, hand-delivered their book to the adoption agency and figured it would take some time to get a call stating that a birth mom had selected the Dobbs.  That was not the case, though, and they were shocked that the call came within a week.  "Every story I had heard, people were on waiting lists for months and months, even years," said Marcie.

These parents-to-be thought they had a few months to prepare for their daughter's birth, but the baby came eight weeks early.

When they met Analise for the first time, they knew she was their child.  "It was like a real calming peace about seeing her, holding her," said Chris, "no nervous feelings, just a calming, relaxing peace."

Analise spent several days in the neonatal intensive care unit and it was there that the birth mom placed Marcie's hand onto her baby in the bed.  "It was just so selfless of her, because in her own way she was letting Analise know that 'I have loved you all of these months that you have been in my belly, but this is your momma who will love you for the rest of your life.'"

Private adoption is not cheap.  Marcie says the total cost was between $25-30,000.  She says she knows the money can be a huge burden, but she tried to see it as something that gives extra peace of mind to a birth mom.  "It's not just because of the money, but the time and the effort and us being able to afford it - that she had really placed her child in somebody's arms that would love her forever," she said.

Once at home, this family of three was living the dream - surrounded by family, horses and land to roam.  Then came a big surprise: Marcie was pregnant!  "That was more shocking than finding out that we were going to get Analise," said Marcie, "I just couldn't make myself believe it."

Rowan was born last June and these parents say their love for their adopted daughter and biological son is identical.  "It was equally as emotional and it was the instant bond that I had with Analise, I had that instant bond with Rowan," said Marcie.

"Analise is mine, Rowan's mine.  They're both my children," said Chris, "adoption doesn't change those feelings."

Analise opened this couple's eyes even more to the huge need for more adoptive families and Marcie says the best time to pursue it is now.  "It's never going to be a perfect time, but it's absolutely always the perfect time for that child that needs the family, so just do it," she said.

Chris says adopting Analise is one of the best decisions he and Marcie have ever made.  "Adoption is a perfect and absolute number one option for anyone wanting to do it."

Looking at Analise, I found myself wondering what her life would be like if Chris and Marcie had never taken the steps to adopt.  Looking at Marcie and Chris, I know that their lives would have a huge hole without that bright-eyed, bouncy, giggly little girl - and their easy-going, smiley little boy.

I love the verse in Ephesians 3:20 and I think it sums up the Dobbs family perfectly:

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

Check out the Dobbs' story that aired on KPLC in The New Family Tree.

-Britney

Critical time to adopt 13-year-old Danielle

Beautiful. Sweet.  Playful.  Girly girl.  Smart.  Driven.  Animal Lover.  Polite.  Ready to be adopted today.

 

13-year-old Danielle has been in foster care for several years.  Fortunately, she is in a loving home with a single mom and foster sister, but it is temporary.

Danielle will turn 14 in September.  That's one year closer to aging out of the foster care system.  This year is a critical year to adopt Danielle.  She needs someone to help her see her dreams come true.  She wants to go to college and become a veterinarian.  She wants to be someone's daughter.  She wants what every child deserves: stability, love and someone that is proud to be her parent.

The clock is ticking for Danielle and she knows it.  When I met her at Club Tabby in Lake Charles for our filming day, she was cautiously guarded about sharing her hope to be adopted.  She knows it might not happen.  It hasn't happened for the years she's been waiting, but she bravely agreed to talk on camera with the dream of the outcome being different this time.

We kicked things off with manicures and pedicures.  Danielle had specially painted her fingernails and toe nails for her TV debut, but was happy to remove it in order to get her first "professional nail painting."

Danielle said if she could do anything for one day, this is exactly what she would do.  

I could slowly feel the heaviness this tiny teen carried begin to lighten.

Next, it was interview time.  On a scale of 1-10, Danielle told me her nerves were at a 7.  She knows this is it.  Her biggest chance for a potential adoptive parent to hear her story.

Danielle took off her glasses.  She tucked her hair behind her ears, sat up straight and her foster mother adjusted her leopard print shirt.  Then the questions came.

Do you know what it means to be adopted?

You stay in that place forever.

If a family said that they were willing to adopt you, would you want to tell them anything?

That I'd be excited to come with you.

Does it matter to you if you if you live in a big city or small town?

No maam.

What about the color of their skin?

No maam.

Does it matter if you're the youngest or oldest kid in the home?

No maam.

Danielle has been with her foster mother, Vickie Moreno, for the past three years.  "She has a lot of love, she has a great personality," she said.  "You wouldn't have to instill a lot into her.  She would be bringing a lot with her."

Both Vickie and Danielle's adoption worker, Katrina Evans with the Department of Children & Family Services, know that if an adoption does not happen soon, this beautiful young lady with so much potential is at a much higher risk of aging out of foster care.  "That means if by the time a child turns 18, a permanent home has not been found for them" said Katrina.  "When they turn 18, it can be a scary time."

 

When I asked Danielle if the thought of getting adopted was exciting or scary, she had this to say. "It's a little of both. Scary because I won't know them and I would be going to a new place, but exciting because I would stay there and have a family."

Danielle says she has been through some tough times, but still shines and wants an adoptive family to know this: "That I'm awesome," she said.

Danielle is legally free to be adopted through the Department of Children & Family Services.  Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry.

Click here to see Danielle's story that aired in The New Family Tree on KPLC.

-Britney

Turn around and do something

It all started with a salad.

One I never got to eat.

I worked a longer than normal day yesterday and was emotionally drained after wrapping up an interview with a 13-year-old girl in foster care, wishing to be adopted.  

I sank into the driver seat of my car after "clocking out" and hit the gas trying to get to some food quickly.

I eat way too much fast food.  On this day, I decided to opt for a salad instead of a burger at Wendy's.  The thought of having to wait the 10 extra minutes to get home to eat it wasn't exciting, but neither was the idea of complaining about wobbly bits for another day.

So here I am, trucking down Lake Street when I notice three kids and a woman trying to cross this busy street with overflowing suitcases in tow and arms full of personal belongings.  They are trying to get to a bus stop, but keep dropping what appears to be all they have.

I start to ask myself questions: Are they running away from someone?  Do they have anywhere to go?  Do they need help?  Should I turn around?

I knew the answer to that last question and felt God stirring it up in my heart.

Still, I continued on my planned route into the long drive-thru line at Wendy's to get that salad.  I could see other drivers pass this family - slowing down and craning their necks around to see what was happening as more personal belongings fell out of their bags.

Someone else will stop, I thought.

It took about 10 minutes to get through the line and get the salad.  My stomach was rumbling!

My eyes are still glued to the bus stop family and at this point, I can see the teenage boy who had been carrying the largest suitcase wiping the sweat from his face.

It was hot. I looked at my car temperature and it said 87 degrees.

Turn around, Britney.  My heart started racing.

I put my salad on the floorboard and pulled into a parking space directly across from the bus stop family.  We are separated by five busy lanes of traffic.

I step out of my car and simply holler, "Do yall need help?" during a traffic lull.  "Desperately," is the response I hear from across the street.

I get back in my car, zip across the street to the closest parking space and before I can even get out of my car, this family of four is hauling everything toward me.  

Lord, give me the words to speak and calm my nerves, I pray.

I introduce myself to the family and they introduce themselves to me...sweaty, exhausted and dropping shoes and shirts from their overflowing bags.

I get the rushed story: they are homeless, but have a meeting at a Section 8 housing office about a possible place to stay.  They've been in Lake Charles for a few weeks after leaving another Louisiana city to get away from a bad situation. (I'll keep that city and their names private for their security)

I don't get many details.  The children's father is dead.  They have been staying at a temporary shelter for homeless women and their children, but had to leave after reaching the maximum number of days to stay.  They've spent the past couple of days in a hotel and on the streets with what little money they had.  They've been on a waiting list for a couple of weeks for a place to live, but didn't get a call until today.  They need a ride to the housing office.

We take off: mom in the front seat, a teenage son and daughter in the back with little sister wedged between them.

Our first stop is Little Caesar's to get a couple of pizzas and drinks.  The kids slowly eat one piece in the car, tearing it in smaller pieces.  I tell them the pizza is all theirs.  "We want to save some for later," they say.

Geez.

We arrive at the housing office and after a long wait, the mother is told the only available unit is dirty.  She volunteers to clean it.  A few more minutes pass and a call comes in to the housing manager. 

A small three bedroom unit is available.

We head over there and mom goes inside to check it out as the kids and I wait in the car.  She walks out beaming.  "It's so nice.  We'll take it," she says.

The kids and I can't wait to see it with our own eyes.  I guess I don't really know what I was expecting to see when we walked inside.

This is "nice?" I thought.  There is no A/C or ceiling fan...in any room.  It's hot.  And tiny.  And a roach just ran out of a burner in the kitchen.  And the floor looks like it's rusting.  The bathtub looks...no comment. The windows are thin and I can hear music blaring from a car outside.

But the kids all say, "This is perfect!  This is such a good day!"

We unload the car and I notice that the only items being unpacked from suitcases are clothes and a couple of toiletries.  "Where are you going to sleep tonight?" I asked them.  "The floor.  It's okay, we're used to it," says the oldest girl.

I felt the tears rising to the surface and told them I needed to step out to make a phone call.  Matt had no idea what his wife was up to today.

I break down as soon as I start explaining what's transpired over the past two hours.  We agree that we can find some extra bedding from our house for them, give them our air mattress and buy them a window unit air conditioner.

I feel helpless and overwhelmed.  I know people have extra beds, food, clothes and more that they would be willing to donate if they saw this family's need, but how do I connect them?  Matt tells me to call our sweet friend, Becky, who has helped other families in need and might be able to direct me on where to find these emergency items.

The next hour was the most amazing reaffirmation of my faith.

Becky tells me she's got her two young kids with her, but she's ready to help.  She calls a man named Tom who is the main facilitator for Boulevard Baptist Church's Mission in partnership with Trinity Baptist Church.

The Mission isn't set to reopen until August...but Tom says he and his wife, Sue, will be there in 30 minutes to open it up.

I load the family back into my car and we head that way.  Becky sends out a message to a few guys in our Sunday School class who have trucks.  One of them, Scott, drops what he's doing and immediately heads to the Mission.

Let me tell you: if you live in the Lake Charles area and need to clean out your closet, kitchen and old furniture - this is the place to donate it.  It is a Mission and a ministry.

The mother and her children can hardly take in all the generosity.  They start grabbing clothes, shampoo, soap, toilet paper...even a TV!  There's one twin mattress set there for the taking and Scott loads it - knowing that at least one person will be off the floor tonight.

At some point during this "free shopping spree," Tom got a message from another Trinity member with some emergency items to donate.  Her father recently died and she was willing to give some of his belongings to this family in desperate need.

At this point, we're all sweaty and running on adrenaline...and God's blessings.

Scott hands me a chunk of cash to help with the A/C purchase and any other items.  I start making my list with the family.  "What do you need me to buy at the store?" I ask.  The answer for each: underwear.  That's it...

We caravan back to the apartment and after unloading everything, the mom says, "This is such a blessing.  You just don't know."  Her oldest daughter tells me, "This day is such a beautiful day now."

The reality is still impossible to avoid.  There is nowhere to sit.  No sofas, no dining room table and chairs.

We are still short three beds.  The bugs are continuing to reveal themselves.

I tell the family I'll be back with Matt and an A/C, along with a few other items after he's done with work.  I say goodbye as they start relaxing in their new living room...on the bare floor.

Then Tom calls me.  A furniture store has three twin mattresses they can donate.  He also has a used sofa we can get to the family the next day from the Baptist Collegiate Ministry at McNeese State University.

Thank you, Lord for providing!

On my way home I call Matt.  He hasn't heard from me since the emotional breakdown a couple of hours ago.  He tells me he's ready to not just buy emergency items for the family - but the stuff that will make this apartment feel like a home for the family that started the day off homeless.

Cue the largest shopping trip of our lives!

We return to the apartment with a packed vehicle - full of food, dishes, pots, an A/C, bedding sets and a side table.  Matt meets the family and gets right to work to cool off the apartment that is uncomfortably hot at this point.

The family and I start unloading everything and finding a place for it all.  The mother tells me how the shower curtain and soft mat make her feel like she's "in a nice hotel."  The kids make their beds...even though it's just a twin mattress on the floor.  The living room now has one piece of furniture: a side table.

When we get in the car, I realize it's almost 8:00 P.M.  For a morning news anchor, that's equivalent to midnight!

When we get back to our house, my mind is still racing with what we need to help secure for this family.  I know a dining room table and chairs is a top priority so they don't have to eat on the floor.

We will find it.  The Lord always provides.

When I pulled out of our driveway this morning at 3:15 to head to work, guess what I see in the neighbor's yard next to the garbage can...

Yep, a dining room table and chairs.

Matt pulled them aside before work.  He also told me he spent part of his morning scouring local job listings for a housecleaning position - something the mother is hoping to find.  There's an opening where he works and he personally brought her an application this morning.  While he was there, Tom showed up with another helper to unload the sofa.  Their next stop was my house for the salvaged dining room table.

I finish the morning show, totally distracted and get a text from my Uncle Jody that he's brought our old microwave from Dry Creek to Lake Charles for the family.  That's a saved trip for us and a huge help for the family!

My reason for sharing this is two-fold.

First: We see needs every single day.  

I am so guilty of walking past them or looking past them, rather than turning around and doing something.  We don't all need to bring strangers into our cars...I know.

But we do have to recognize when we could be the difference-makers for someone in need.

When my Grandpa Clayton was alive, one of the Bible passages I can remember him sharing and living out was  Matthew 25:35-40.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go visit you?'"

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"

Secondly: we are each uniquely equipped to serve.

While I was behind the steering wheel that turned around to check on this family, the blessings that came about are because of other fellow believers stepping out.

Becky strategizing to get the Mission opened up and resources flowing.

Tom and Sue heading straight to the rescue of strangers.

Scott using his truck to haul a precious bed and donating money for other needs.

Matt immediately getting on board with the commitment to help, installing an A/C and job hunting.

The local furniture store owner donating mattresses.

Uncle Jody taking the time to dig through Maw-Maw's storage shed for a microwave and going out of his way to deliver it.

Romans 12:4 says, "For as in one body we have many members and the members do not all have the same function."

I'm so thankful for our different functions that can come together as one body.

I don't know what's next for this new family I didn't know at this time yesterday, but I do know that they feel loved.  They have a home.  They have a place to rest their heads.

They know they are not invisible.

-Britney