A little less talk and a lot more action

Okay, I'm not intentionally quoting a Toby Keith country song in the title of this blog.  I did, however, go back and forth between those lyrics stuck in my head for this post and Gavin Degraw's "Follow Through!"

They both get the point across that a lot of times we talk about things that matter to us, but we don't act, follow through and make it happen!

So what am I talking about?  If you follow many of my posts, you probably know the issue at hand is the critical need for adoptive parents.

It has been almost six months since a months-long courting relationship with the Department of Children & Family Services (and pleading my case to my bosses) resulted in a regular segment on KPLC-TV featuring local children who are ready to be adopted today.

I introduced you to Ke'vontre in May: 

Next it was Tyrene:

Then Danielle in June:

Darrell in July: 

Deniro in August:

Tyrese in September:

And D'Janae in October:

Guess what?!  After every segment, case workers at the DCFS office in Lake Charles have told me that the phones ring...a lot!

I could also track the number of views on www.kplctv.com for each story - and they were in the thousands!

I know that people's hearts are being pricked about this topic.  I have talked to friends and people in the community who have shared their new burden about parentless children with tears running down their cheeks.

These kids are real.  Their emotion is raw.  Their need is right in front of us...and we're still not doing enough.

Why the blunt statement?  Because these kids and the 60 others in Southwest Louisiana legally ready to be adopted today are still living life in limbo.  

There is the immediate surge of attention...and hope...when the phones ring, but adopting a child requires much more than a phone call.

First: recognize that you might not get called back in a timely fashion.  DCFS workers are overloaded.  Don't get discouraged if you have to pick up the phone a couple of times to get through.  Don't consider it a sign from God if your call is not returned.  The office is busy.  They will get back with you.  Call.  Call again.  Heck, by my third attempt in trying to talk to a home development specialist, my hands weren't sweaty anymore!  My voice was no longer shaky!  I was ready to get down to business and when we finally connected, everything started falling into place.

Second: you have to go through orientation to adopt through foster care.  I asked so many questions on the phone that it counted as orientation!  You could try that method:)  If you have to go to a one night meeting, don't look at it as an inconvenience.  Think about the other people in the exact same boat as you: all taking one of the scariest, bravest, most selfless steps in life.

Third: MAPP classes are a must.  What are these courses?  They are required by every person wanting to get certified to be a foster/adoptive parent.  It is a dual certification that also includes three home visits, background checks and references.  You will become a certified foster home and you will be certified to adopt.  The classes might seem like a long commitment (seven evenings of three hour courses or four Saturday courses of six hour courses), but they are critical in understanding why kids end up in care.  Plus, you'll meet some fabulous people and DCFS staffers in the process.

When Matt and I took part in the MAPP classes this summer, I was thrilled to learn that the classes had record attendance.  I met several people who were there because The New Family Tree features on KPLC opened a conversation in their home that led them to act.  There were also people there hoping to adopt one of the specific children featured.  

But, not everyone followed through.  There was a lot of talk, but even more action was needed.

I'll tell you what my biggest fear is in doing the interview segments featuring children ready to be adopted.  That their hopes are dashed.  That they choke back tears in their interview in order to seem brave to a potential mom or dad, but they have to endure another letdown.

If you are teetering on the idea of pursuing adoption, please consider what's at stake.  A child - bouncing between foster homes and never having a true sense of family.  A pre-teen - lacking a mom or dad to guide them into adulthood.  A teenager - scared about being on his or her own entirely at age 18 without a family base during the holidays and life events.

I am going to once again share the verses at the heart of this issue and pray for more people to follow through and act.

Luke 10:2:  The harvest is great, but the workers are few.  So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields. 

James 1:27:  Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

-Britney

Nine-year-old Deniro just wants "a nice parent"

I recently spent a few days at the beach with my in-laws. I have two nephews that are six years old, super active and all boy! They love being outside, playing ball and getting one-one-one attention.

When I met nine-year-old Deniro at Chuck E. Cheese on our interview day, he reminded me so much of my nephews. Even though he is going into the third grade, Deniro is about the same size as my soon-to-be first grade nephews. He is small, but full of personality.

He was wearing a basketball jersey, much like I would expect to see on one of my nephews eager to shoot some hoops with dad. Deniro's reality does not include that part of the equation. He's got the jersey, the ball, the desire to play, but does not have the mom or dad to share in those basic, every day childhood experiences.

Deniro does have fabulous foster parents. The Shaws have taken in 20+ foster children over the past 20 years, even adopting through foster care. At this point in their lives, though, their calling is to temporarily care for a child until he or she is matched with adoptive parents. Deniro has been waiting for several months.

On the day of our interview, Deniro's adoption worker with the Department of Children & Family Services, Katrina Evans, told me that he knew the importance of talking on camera about his desire to be adopted. "It's so important to him," she said, "he talks about it often and recognizes the importance of having a family and I think having that stability and security is just going to go a long way with him."

Deniro definitely has a soft side - something that comes out when you sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with him. "I like to read books and I like to talk to my friends," he said.

When I asked Deniro about his friends, his eyes got teary as he told me about his foster brother that had just been moved the day before to an adoptive placement. While that is great news for the foster brother, Deniro had a heavy heart. "I miss my older brother," he said, "he's kind of like a friend. He's always there for me."

Someone who is still there for Deniro today is his foster father, Wiley Shaw, Jr., training this young man in the polite ways of a gentleman. "He is very respectful. He was taught before he got to me, but we've continued to train him into being a gentleman," he said.

Deniro describes himself as polite and a few other endearing qualities. "I would say I'm kind of funny and I'm kind of handsome," he said.

When I asked Deniro what kind of parents he would like to have, his response was simple: "A nice parent."

Yep. That's it.

Since launching The New Family Tree segment a few months ago, I've had a couple of viewers ask me about whether or not I felt like I was "exploiting the children" by putting them on the news. I know it's tough to see children on TV or a computer screen that are parentless. Yes, they are vulnerable. Yes, it can be uncomfortable for them to open up about how it feels to be living a childhood in limbo. But what is the alternative? Years spent in foster care? A new school every year while moving from one home to another? Callouses growing as another month passes with no hope of things changing?

I appreciate every single child, just like Deniro, who allows me the privilege of sharing his or her story. I would not do this segment if I did not truly believe the end result will be adoption.

These children need their stories to be told. In the words of Maya Angelou, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Please be a part of the efforts to do better for these kids. They deserve it.

Deniro is ready to be adopted today through the Department of Children & Family Services. Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry about Deniro or any of the other children that can be adopted through foster care.

Check out Deniro's story on KPLC-TV's The New Family Tree.

-Britney

​

Critical time to adopt 13-year-old Danielle

Beautiful. Sweet.  Playful.  Girly girl.  Smart.  Driven.  Animal Lover.  Polite.  Ready to be adopted today.

 

13-year-old Danielle has been in foster care for several years.  Fortunately, she is in a loving home with a single mom and foster sister, but it is temporary.

Danielle will turn 14 in September.  That's one year closer to aging out of the foster care system.  This year is a critical year to adopt Danielle.  She needs someone to help her see her dreams come true.  She wants to go to college and become a veterinarian.  She wants to be someone's daughter.  She wants what every child deserves: stability, love and someone that is proud to be her parent.

The clock is ticking for Danielle and she knows it.  When I met her at Club Tabby in Lake Charles for our filming day, she was cautiously guarded about sharing her hope to be adopted.  She knows it might not happen.  It hasn't happened for the years she's been waiting, but she bravely agreed to talk on camera with the dream of the outcome being different this time.

We kicked things off with manicures and pedicures.  Danielle had specially painted her fingernails and toe nails for her TV debut, but was happy to remove it in order to get her first "professional nail painting."

Danielle said if she could do anything for one day, this is exactly what she would do.  

I could slowly feel the heaviness this tiny teen carried begin to lighten.

Next, it was interview time.  On a scale of 1-10, Danielle told me her nerves were at a 7.  She knows this is it.  Her biggest chance for a potential adoptive parent to hear her story.

Danielle took off her glasses.  She tucked her hair behind her ears, sat up straight and her foster mother adjusted her leopard print shirt.  Then the questions came.

Do you know what it means to be adopted?

You stay in that place forever.

If a family said that they were willing to adopt you, would you want to tell them anything?

That I'd be excited to come with you.

Does it matter to you if you if you live in a big city or small town?

No maam.

What about the color of their skin?

No maam.

Does it matter if you're the youngest or oldest kid in the home?

No maam.

Danielle has been with her foster mother, Vickie Moreno, for the past three years.  "She has a lot of love, she has a great personality," she said.  "You wouldn't have to instill a lot into her.  She would be bringing a lot with her."

Both Vickie and Danielle's adoption worker, Katrina Evans with the Department of Children & Family Services, know that if an adoption does not happen soon, this beautiful young lady with so much potential is at a much higher risk of aging out of foster care.  "That means if by the time a child turns 18, a permanent home has not been found for them" said Katrina.  "When they turn 18, it can be a scary time."

 

When I asked Danielle if the thought of getting adopted was exciting or scary, she had this to say. "It's a little of both. Scary because I won't know them and I would be going to a new place, but exciting because I would stay there and have a family."

Danielle says she has been through some tough times, but still shines and wants an adoptive family to know this: "That I'm awesome," she said.

Danielle is legally free to be adopted through the Department of Children & Family Services.  Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry.

Click here to see Danielle's story that aired in The New Family Tree on KPLC.

-Britney

Lisa Addison: Blessed beyond belief

"Pursue the things you really want or they'll disappear forever."  Those are the words freelance writer, Lisa Addison, read one day that signaled her "aha moment."

Lisa is like a lot women today.  Career-driven.  Independent.  Unwavering in her high standards for faith and family.

Lisa's career brought her across the United States and eventually back home to Lake Charles.  She felt the clock ticking.  

There was no man on the horizon, but she knew she wanted to become a mom.  "I just somehow instinctively knew I would be a mom," she said.  "I didn't know when, didn't know how, but I knew I would be."

The prayers for a family lasted for years.  Lisa never lost hope.

Ten years ago, Lisa decided to pursue adoption through foster care with the Department of Children & Family Services.  She says half of the people in the certification class with her dropped out.

Lisa says she knew this means of adoption could bring heartbreak.  She wanted a young child,  but that also meant that parental rights might not be terminated and the child would be returned to his or her biological parents.

Still, Lisa pressed on with blind faith.  "I specified ages zero to four, male or female, any race and even disabilities."

Over the next two years, Lisa was matched with four foster children, ranging in age from just hours old to 18 months.  She loved them all, but so did their families that needed time to grow into the caregivers that could properly love them.  Lisa gave these babies love in order to make that reunion happen.

Then came an adorable little boy named Hadley, removed from a home where he had been neglected for some time.  "He came running, barrelling into my house," said Lisa.

This was her son and these two instantly became a family.  His adoption was a long road and it took two full years to make him legally hers.

Lisa was blissfully happy, enjoying time with Hadley when an unexpected call came from her case worker.  "She told me that a baby girl had been found," said Lisa, "her birth mother has just been murdered and they found her at a local motel.  She said, 'We want to know if you would consider,' and I said, 'If you hadn't told me all of that, I would've said no,' but I said, 'yes I will.'"

That  baby girl, Lexi, is now a Banner Roll kindergarten student.  She knows adoption changed her life.  

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Adoption means I have a family that loves me forever, that loves me more than everybody and anything except Jesus," said Lexi.

Hadley never has to worry about being neglected again.  "I have a family and they wanted me," said Hadley.

Lisa says she once questioned her career path and whether or not she would ever marry.  Now she says this is the path God had for her all along, leading her straight to a precious boy and girl.

"I am blessed beyond belief," she said, "I have my family.  To me, that's the ultimate."

Check out Lisa's story that aired as part of The New Family Tree on KPLC-TV.

-Britney

Dawn Brand: A heart's desire to be a mom

Do you ever question God when life doesn't seem to be going exactly how you think it should be going?  Why didn't I get that promotion?  Where is my financial windfall?  Why don't I get a Mr./Miss Right?  Why does she get to have a baby?

Yep.  We have all done it and can list questions as personal as our real weight and not what we list on a driver's license:)  (It's a goal, right?!)

Dawn Brand has been there.

She loves children.  In fact, she is the Minister of Preschool at Trinity Baptist Church in Lake Charles.  Dawn says it was her heart's desire to become a mom one day.  During her 20s and early 30s, she watched friends get married and have babies.  Where was her Prince Charming?  Why would God give her a desire to be a mom and not give her a husband?

Isaiah 55:9: "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are MY ways higher than your ways and MY thoughts than your thoughts."

Doesn't our loving Father always have the best plan in store for us, even when we can't see it?

Dawn will tell you she knows that, but it took a little time to see His creative plan.

"I never really considered adoption," said Dawn, "because I wanted to have the child.  Adoption really wasn't an option."

The dream of a family was put on the back burner for a few years, but Dawn said she never stopped praying about it.  Then came one of those left field texts from a friend one morning, "She said, 'I was cleaning my bathrooms and had a thought.  Have you ever considered adoption through foster care?'" said Dawn, "That was the spark that started it all."

Dawn said she began rethinking what mommy-hood could look like for her.  She said James 1:27 illustrated that a caretaker of orphans does not need to be married.

James 1:27: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress."

That was three years ago and Dawn enrolled in the certification classes through the Department of Children & Family Services.  She got a crib, the blankets, the baby necessities - all she needed was the child God had for her.

Dawn knew she wanted to experience raising a child from as young as a baby if possible.  "In Louisiana, you can do race, age and gender.  You can tell them basically what you want and I did under two, girl and race didn't matter, because it doesn't to me."

Dawn said she wanted to raise "a little lady that would love the Lord."

Just a few months after completing the home study and certification process, Dawn got a call about a three-month-old baby girl that needed a home.  From the beginning, she knew that this child was not her child.  The infant's biological parents were doing what they were required to in order to regain custody.

Dawn took on the late night feedings, tears, firsts and nurturing - for this season.

Six months later, the little girl went back to her biological parents.  Dawn said it was hard.  "I would've adopted her in a heartbeat, but I knew she wasn't mine.  Still, that didn't help the heartache."

A roller coaster.

Regardless of whether your adoption plan is through foster care, private domestic or international adoption, 100 percent of the parents I have talked to say it is an emotional roller coaster.  Dawn says you have to prepare your heart for that and it took a few months until she was receptive to another placement.  "My heart needed time to heal," she said. 

Then, the call came.

Dawn's case worker said a two-day-old girl, not even weighing five pounds needed a home.  She was also told the child was an African-American girl and her biological mother used cocaine throughout the pregnancy.

Dawn didn't think twice.

She named the baby girl Lakeyn and was in love from the first moment she saw her.  The first few weeks were tough, as Lakeyn's tiny body tremored working through the cocaine in her system.

Dawn had some friends ask the "what ifs" about a drug-exposed baby.  "I said, 'You don't know the what ifs about a biological child,'" said Dawn.  "Would you not be willing to walk that road with your child if you knew it could be hard?  I'm willing to walk the road if this is my child and God will help me get through."

Lakeyn will turn two in a few weeks and she is developmentally off the charts!  She is pure joy, sunshine and smiles.

It took nearly 16 months for her adoption to be finalized, but Lakeyn is officially Dawn's for all of her earthly days.

"A lot of times people say that she's one blessed little girl," said Dawn.  "I know that I'm one blessed mommy.  With a heart's desire to be a mom, she's made my life complete."

Check out Dawn's story that aired as part of The New Family Tree on KPLC-TV.

-Britney

"I want to be adopted."-Ke'vontre

Meet Ke'vontre!

This eight-year-old boy will steal your heart from the moment you meet him.

I must admit: I was already quite familiar with Ke'vontre before meeting him at a local park.  I skim through the Department of Children & Family Services link every week that lists some of the foster kids available for adoption through the state.  This link, though, does not share all of the children, just the ones that are in the category of "hard to place."

Age can land them there.  Race can land them there.  Health problems can land them there.  Sibling sets can land them there.

Ke'vontre was originally part of a sibling set...but nothing happened.  Then he watched his baby brother get placed into a home.  Next, his six-year-old sister got the good news that she had been placed in another home.

But not Ke'vontre.

He has been moved around into different foster homes.  For now, he is in the care of a sweet 79-year-old woman named Ms. Easter.  She has three other foster children in her home and said, "Honey, if I can handle four, a family can definitely handle one."

I spent a couple of hours with Ke'vontre.  We played basketball.  He taught me his trick dribbling move.  He told me he dreams about playing on a team one day.

Then we sat on a couple of swings and got to talking about his life.  I asked him if he cared what his potential parents look like.  His response was raw, "I don't care what they look like.  I don't care if they're nice or mean.  I want to be adopted."

Ke'vontre's age and race will continue to classify him as hard to place.  His adoption fees through the state are minimal.  It would likely cost under $500 for everything to be completed and Ke'vontre will likely qualify for a monthly stipend to help in his placement.

Please consider making Ke'vontre a part of your new family tree.  He is legally ready to be adopted.

To learn more about adopting Ke'vontre or one of the other 350 children in state care, call the Department of Children & Family Services: 337-491-2470 or 1-800-814-1584.

Check out Ke'vontre's profile story that aired on KPLC-TV.

-Britney

The New Family Tree

I love Mondays.  Really.  It's the idea of a fresh start - and a clean slate.  Something new and the hope of doing life even better this week than last.

This Monday is extra special for me.  This new week kicks off off a new series at KPLC-TV where my passion for television collides with my passion for an issue that burns in my heart: orphan care.

Television reporting can be emotionally draining.  I know watching the news can be, too!  But there is so much happening OFF SCRIPT that we are not always at liberty to share with viewers. 

Stories of abused children.  Stories of neglected children.  Stories of babies thrown aside like they are garbage.  Stories of toddlers wandering around local streets alone.

Where is the mommy?  Where is the daddy? 

We can report these stories when we get the go-ahead from law enforcement, but that is just not always in the best interest of investigators.

So, those of us who took the concerned call into the newsroom from a neighbor, aunt, passerby or heartbroken teacher are left burdened. What will become of this child?  Does he or she feel loved?

Many of these children will end up in temporary state custody - foster care. The Louisiana Department of Children & Family Services is currently serving 4,437 foster children.  Foster parenting is critically important to these children as they transition from whatever home they knew into a new "normal," with the hopes of being reunited with a biological parent.

Sometimes that doesn't happen, though.  Maybe the dad walked out on the family.  The mom might be struggling to overcome drug addiction.  There isn't enough food to go around.  The home isn't safe.  The reasons could go on and on - but for whatever reason, there are 350 children in Louisiana's foster care system today ready to be adopted.  That means the biological parents' rights have been terminated...and no one else in the child's life is pursuing a placement.  Heart. Breaking.

The more I learned about the need for adoptive parents, the more the Lord began to work on my heart.  My husband and I have always talked about the desire to have biological children and adopt - but we weren't sure when or how that would happen.

We still aren't quite sure...but are actively enrolled in the adoption certification process for a potential future placement.  There are lots of unknowns - and that's scary.  But can you imagine a scarier unknown than what these orphaned children face every day: will I ever have a family of my own?

KPLC-TV has aired several segments featuring children in need of forever families over the past 20 years.  We don't know how many of these children had their dreams come true and how many continued to bounce around between foster homes and eventually cycle out at age 18.

What we do know is that we can do better.  We can offer more resources, more information on how to pursue adoption or foster care, more profiles of successful adoption stories and most importantly: more profiles of children in need.

That is what you will see the first Tuesday of every month on The New Family Tree. 

I love the highlighted green "i" in the word "family." It says "I" could be the person to make a life-changing difference in a child's life.

You might not be called to open up your home for an orphan, but there are so many other ways you can help!  Support a family that has made that huge step, pray for them, pray for prospective parents, pray for the orphans, encourage your children to be accepting of foster/adoptive children...and this just skims the surface.

Do something.

My favorite song is Matthew West's song by that same title, "Do Something."

Here's a snippet:

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how’d we ever get so far down
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”
He said, “I did, I created you”

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

The New Family Tree: debuts Tuesday, May 6 at 10:00 P.M.

and will re-air with a live interview Wednesday, May 7 at 6:40 A.M.

-Britney