Nine-year-old Deniro just wants "a nice parent"

I recently spent a few days at the beach with my in-laws. I have two nephews that are six years old, super active and all boy! They love being outside, playing ball and getting one-one-one attention.

When I met nine-year-old Deniro at Chuck E. Cheese on our interview day, he reminded me so much of my nephews. Even though he is going into the third grade, Deniro is about the same size as my soon-to-be first grade nephews. He is small, but full of personality.

He was wearing a basketball jersey, much like I would expect to see on one of my nephews eager to shoot some hoops with dad. Deniro's reality does not include that part of the equation. He's got the jersey, the ball, the desire to play, but does not have the mom or dad to share in those basic, every day childhood experiences.

Deniro does have fabulous foster parents. The Shaws have taken in 20+ foster children over the past 20 years, even adopting through foster care. At this point in their lives, though, their calling is to temporarily care for a child until he or she is matched with adoptive parents. Deniro has been waiting for several months.

On the day of our interview, Deniro's adoption worker with the Department of Children & Family Services, Katrina Evans, told me that he knew the importance of talking on camera about his desire to be adopted. "It's so important to him," she said, "he talks about it often and recognizes the importance of having a family and I think having that stability and security is just going to go a long way with him."

Deniro definitely has a soft side - something that comes out when you sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with him. "I like to read books and I like to talk to my friends," he said.

When I asked Deniro about his friends, his eyes got teary as he told me about his foster brother that had just been moved the day before to an adoptive placement. While that is great news for the foster brother, Deniro had a heavy heart. "I miss my older brother," he said, "he's kind of like a friend. He's always there for me."

Someone who is still there for Deniro today is his foster father, Wiley Shaw, Jr., training this young man in the polite ways of a gentleman. "He is very respectful. He was taught before he got to me, but we've continued to train him into being a gentleman," he said.

Deniro describes himself as polite and a few other endearing qualities. "I would say I'm kind of funny and I'm kind of handsome," he said.

When I asked Deniro what kind of parents he would like to have, his response was simple: "A nice parent."

Yep. That's it.

Since launching The New Family Tree segment a few months ago, I've had a couple of viewers ask me about whether or not I felt like I was "exploiting the children" by putting them on the news. I know it's tough to see children on TV or a computer screen that are parentless. Yes, they are vulnerable. Yes, it can be uncomfortable for them to open up about how it feels to be living a childhood in limbo. But what is the alternative? Years spent in foster care? A new school every year while moving from one home to another? Callouses growing as another month passes with no hope of things changing?

I appreciate every single child, just like Deniro, who allows me the privilege of sharing his or her story. I would not do this segment if I did not truly believe the end result will be adoption.

These children need their stories to be told. In the words of Maya Angelou, "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." Please be a part of the efforts to do better for these kids. They deserve it.

Deniro is ready to be adopted today through the Department of Children & Family Services. Call 337-491-2470 to make an inquiry about Deniro or any of the other children that can be adopted through foster care.

Check out Deniro's story on KPLC-TV's The New Family Tree.

-Britney

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Fostering the most fragile children and teens

Foster parents are heroes.

They open their homes to children and youth in desperate situations, love them, nurture them and grow attached to them.  Then the day comes.  These heroes say goodbye to the children that they cared for during the crisis that might have lasted one day, one month, one year...or even more.

Foster parents don't always know how safe or loving the home will be when the child returns.  Biological parents are required to meet certain standards before this reunion happens.  When the parents aren't able to meet the standards or they simply refuse to, these children will end up in the foster-to-adopt scenario that opens them up to a lot of uncertainty, mixed with the hope of a new, stable family.

I've met several foster parents over the past couple of months of working on The New Family Tree.  They love the children that they know are not their own.

One of these special foster moms is a woman named Carolyn Dunning.  She raised her three biological sons, but knew she still had more love to give.

Carolyn worked with special needs children and youth for nearly 20 years.  When she heard about Louisiana Mentor, she knew she found her calling: fostering the most fragile children and teens.  "They have a lot of needs that some people might look over," she said, "and you can help these children if you just give them the time and just working with them to see what they are able to do."

Louisiana Mentor has been around since 2005, offering training for foster parents to care for children and youth with emotional, behavioral and medical challenges.  This empowerment sets the foster child up for success and stability in a caring home.  "I completed 36 hours of training," said Carolyn.  "I learned how to work with them on their behaviors.  You learn about their medications, how to give them their medications."

There are a couple of different programs offered through Louisiana Mentor: therapeutic foster care and medically fragile foster homes.  This program fills the gap with the Department of Children & Family Services, Office of Juvenile Justice and Office for Citizens with Developmental Disabilities.

Foster parents are compensated with a standard foster board payment, as well as a monthly stipend that varies depending on the child's or youth's needs.

Carolyn was placed with two girls, ages 10 and 12 a year and a half ago.

The neglect was so extreme with the younger girl that Carolyn had to start with the basics.  "She didn't know how to tie her shoes, she couldn't open up the door, she couldn't bathe, she couldn't put her clothes on.  It was just a lot of things that were lacking with her."

But through love, stability and consistency, both girls are now thriving.

Mentors may be married or single, men or women - they just need to have the compassion for a person in need and the commitment to make a positive difference.  "Somebody helped us, so we're just turning it right back and helping another child," said Carolyn.

BJ Gallent is a recruiter with Louisiana Mentor and she says there is a big need for more adults to open their homes to these foster kids.  It's about never giving up on a child, no matter how big their needs may seem.

If you want to learn more about Louisiana Mentor or Mentor programs in other states, click here.

To talk to BJ about becoming a mentor, call her at 318-451-7556.

-Britney

Glean: gathering bit by bit

We are surrounded by needs each day.

Women who need housing after escaping an abusive partner.  Hungry families desperate for a warm meal.  Abused teens in need of a positive influence.  Children pulled from their unsafe homes in the middle of the night.

Noelle Mills could not turn a blind eye to these needs.  She saw them, felt burdened by them and decided to do something.

Noelle is a married mom of two beautiful girls and manages Signatures Salon in Lake Charles.  She said one night the salon hosted a spa night for women living at the Potter's House, a local women's homeless shelter.

She said these women were to be set up with a full night of pampering, from free haircuts to facials and massages.  The problem for Noelle was that she was not a service provider...but really wanted to help.

So, she came up with the idea to organize a free "garage sale" so the women could shop around while they were at the spa night.  Noelle asked the Signature clients to donate purses, shoes, clothing, jewelry - really anything they could to these women.  The response was overwhelming.

That got the wheels turning even more for Noelle.

She recognized these items were excess items that most of these women would not miss, but items that would mean so much to the women receiving them.  Noelle wanted to take this idea to the next level, but knew that there were already tons of great non-profits.

That sparked the idea and creation of Glean.  The definition of Glean is to gather or collect bit by bit - and that is exactly what Noelle and her gleaners do.  They have collected items for Abraham's Tent, Oasis Women's Shelter, City of Refuge, Boys Village, Filling the Gap and many other local non-profits. 

This month marks the first time Glean has partnered 
with a government agency: 

the Department of Children & Family Services.

Noelle and I had the chance to chat about this project and how you can help.

What made you choose the Department of Children & Family Services?

*Partnering with the Department of Children & Family Services was a little different for us, because we have never supported a government organization. But after speaking with them and learning more about what they do, we knew it was a perfect fit. 

They informed me that many times, when a child is taken from an unstable environment, it is in the middle of the night and they are unable to immediately place the child in a foster home. This means the child has to go to their offices, and the government does not provide items to make these children comfortable overnight. 

That is where we will come in.

As a mom of two young children, tell me how seeing the needs of the children in state custody has impacted you.
*As a mom, the efforts this department makes are very admirable. It breaks my heart to think of the situations that lead the children into needing our efforts, but makes me that more passionate for providing any and every need they may have. No child should ever feel abandoned, abused or forgotten. If our little bit can help ease any of those emotions, then we did our job.

How can people pitch in?

*We are collecting bottles (preferably the ones with drop-in liners), blankets, and any items that would make a child feel comfortable overnight.  That could be items like coloring supplies or stuffed animals. 

They also asked if anyone has a gently used playpen that they are no longer using to consider donating it to them. It would provide a place to sleep for young children brought to their offices.

Where can people drop off their donations?

*We have seven sites across Southwest Louisiana.  In Lake Charles, they are Signatures Salon, Sale Street Baptist Church's warehouse, Christ Community Church and Robichaux, Mize, Wadsack and Richardson Law Firm.

In Moss Bluff, you can drop off at Crossroads Church.  Sulphur has a site at Shear Innovations Salon and in Westlake, go to the Church of God.

Donations will be taken through the entire month of May.

To learn more about Glean and stay up to date on each month's project, click here.

Way to go, Noelle!  You are a difference maker!

-Britney

P.S. Noelle will be on Sunrise Wednesday morning at 6:40 for a live interview about this month's partnership with DCFS.  

Lisa Addison: Blessed beyond belief

"Pursue the things you really want or they'll disappear forever."  Those are the words freelance writer, Lisa Addison, read one day that signaled her "aha moment."

Lisa is like a lot women today.  Career-driven.  Independent.  Unwavering in her high standards for faith and family.

Lisa's career brought her across the United States and eventually back home to Lake Charles.  She felt the clock ticking.  

There was no man on the horizon, but she knew she wanted to become a mom.  "I just somehow instinctively knew I would be a mom," she said.  "I didn't know when, didn't know how, but I knew I would be."

The prayers for a family lasted for years.  Lisa never lost hope.

Ten years ago, Lisa decided to pursue adoption through foster care with the Department of Children & Family Services.  She says half of the people in the certification class with her dropped out.

Lisa says she knew this means of adoption could bring heartbreak.  She wanted a young child,  but that also meant that parental rights might not be terminated and the child would be returned to his or her biological parents.

Still, Lisa pressed on with blind faith.  "I specified ages zero to four, male or female, any race and even disabilities."

Over the next two years, Lisa was matched with four foster children, ranging in age from just hours old to 18 months.  She loved them all, but so did their families that needed time to grow into the caregivers that could properly love them.  Lisa gave these babies love in order to make that reunion happen.

Then came an adorable little boy named Hadley, removed from a home where he had been neglected for some time.  "He came running, barrelling into my house," said Lisa.

This was her son and these two instantly became a family.  His adoption was a long road and it took two full years to make him legally hers.

Lisa was blissfully happy, enjoying time with Hadley when an unexpected call came from her case worker.  "She told me that a baby girl had been found," said Lisa, "her birth mother has just been murdered and they found her at a local motel.  She said, 'We want to know if you would consider,' and I said, 'If you hadn't told me all of that, I would've said no,' but I said, 'yes I will.'"

That  baby girl, Lexi, is now a Banner Roll kindergarten student.  She knows adoption changed her life.  

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Adoption means I have a family that loves me forever, that loves me more than everybody and anything except Jesus," said Lexi.

Hadley never has to worry about being neglected again.  "I have a family and they wanted me," said Hadley.

Lisa says she once questioned her career path and whether or not she would ever marry.  Now she says this is the path God had for her all along, leading her straight to a precious boy and girl.

"I am blessed beyond belief," she said, "I have my family.  To me, that's the ultimate."

Check out Lisa's story that aired as part of The New Family Tree on KPLC-TV.

-Britney

Dawn Brand: A heart's desire to be a mom

Do you ever question God when life doesn't seem to be going exactly how you think it should be going?  Why didn't I get that promotion?  Where is my financial windfall?  Why don't I get a Mr./Miss Right?  Why does she get to have a baby?

Yep.  We have all done it and can list questions as personal as our real weight and not what we list on a driver's license:)  (It's a goal, right?!)

Dawn Brand has been there.

She loves children.  In fact, she is the Minister of Preschool at Trinity Baptist Church in Lake Charles.  Dawn says it was her heart's desire to become a mom one day.  During her 20s and early 30s, she watched friends get married and have babies.  Where was her Prince Charming?  Why would God give her a desire to be a mom and not give her a husband?

Isaiah 55:9: "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are MY ways higher than your ways and MY thoughts than your thoughts."

Doesn't our loving Father always have the best plan in store for us, even when we can't see it?

Dawn will tell you she knows that, but it took a little time to see His creative plan.

"I never really considered adoption," said Dawn, "because I wanted to have the child.  Adoption really wasn't an option."

The dream of a family was put on the back burner for a few years, but Dawn said she never stopped praying about it.  Then came one of those left field texts from a friend one morning, "She said, 'I was cleaning my bathrooms and had a thought.  Have you ever considered adoption through foster care?'" said Dawn, "That was the spark that started it all."

Dawn said she began rethinking what mommy-hood could look like for her.  She said James 1:27 illustrated that a caretaker of orphans does not need to be married.

James 1:27: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress."

That was three years ago and Dawn enrolled in the certification classes through the Department of Children & Family Services.  She got a crib, the blankets, the baby necessities - all she needed was the child God had for her.

Dawn knew she wanted to experience raising a child from as young as a baby if possible.  "In Louisiana, you can do race, age and gender.  You can tell them basically what you want and I did under two, girl and race didn't matter, because it doesn't to me."

Dawn said she wanted to raise "a little lady that would love the Lord."

Just a few months after completing the home study and certification process, Dawn got a call about a three-month-old baby girl that needed a home.  From the beginning, she knew that this child was not her child.  The infant's biological parents were doing what they were required to in order to regain custody.

Dawn took on the late night feedings, tears, firsts and nurturing - for this season.

Six months later, the little girl went back to her biological parents.  Dawn said it was hard.  "I would've adopted her in a heartbeat, but I knew she wasn't mine.  Still, that didn't help the heartache."

A roller coaster.

Regardless of whether your adoption plan is through foster care, private domestic or international adoption, 100 percent of the parents I have talked to say it is an emotional roller coaster.  Dawn says you have to prepare your heart for that and it took a few months until she was receptive to another placement.  "My heart needed time to heal," she said. 

Then, the call came.

Dawn's case worker said a two-day-old girl, not even weighing five pounds needed a home.  She was also told the child was an African-American girl and her biological mother used cocaine throughout the pregnancy.

Dawn didn't think twice.

She named the baby girl Lakeyn and was in love from the first moment she saw her.  The first few weeks were tough, as Lakeyn's tiny body tremored working through the cocaine in her system.

Dawn had some friends ask the "what ifs" about a drug-exposed baby.  "I said, 'You don't know the what ifs about a biological child,'" said Dawn.  "Would you not be willing to walk that road with your child if you knew it could be hard?  I'm willing to walk the road if this is my child and God will help me get through."

Lakeyn will turn two in a few weeks and she is developmentally off the charts!  She is pure joy, sunshine and smiles.

It took nearly 16 months for her adoption to be finalized, but Lakeyn is officially Dawn's for all of her earthly days.

"A lot of times people say that she's one blessed little girl," said Dawn.  "I know that I'm one blessed mommy.  With a heart's desire to be a mom, she's made my life complete."

Check out Dawn's story that aired as part of The New Family Tree on KPLC-TV.

-Britney

"I want to be adopted."-Ke'vontre

Meet Ke'vontre!

This eight-year-old boy will steal your heart from the moment you meet him.

I must admit: I was already quite familiar with Ke'vontre before meeting him at a local park.  I skim through the Department of Children & Family Services link every week that lists some of the foster kids available for adoption through the state.  This link, though, does not share all of the children, just the ones that are in the category of "hard to place."

Age can land them there.  Race can land them there.  Health problems can land them there.  Sibling sets can land them there.

Ke'vontre was originally part of a sibling set...but nothing happened.  Then he watched his baby brother get placed into a home.  Next, his six-year-old sister got the good news that she had been placed in another home.

But not Ke'vontre.

He has been moved around into different foster homes.  For now, he is in the care of a sweet 79-year-old woman named Ms. Easter.  She has three other foster children in her home and said, "Honey, if I can handle four, a family can definitely handle one."

I spent a couple of hours with Ke'vontre.  We played basketball.  He taught me his trick dribbling move.  He told me he dreams about playing on a team one day.

Then we sat on a couple of swings and got to talking about his life.  I asked him if he cared what his potential parents look like.  His response was raw, "I don't care what they look like.  I don't care if they're nice or mean.  I want to be adopted."

Ke'vontre's age and race will continue to classify him as hard to place.  His adoption fees through the state are minimal.  It would likely cost under $500 for everything to be completed and Ke'vontre will likely qualify for a monthly stipend to help in his placement.

Please consider making Ke'vontre a part of your new family tree.  He is legally ready to be adopted.

To learn more about adopting Ke'vontre or one of the other 350 children in state care, call the Department of Children & Family Services: 337-491-2470 or 1-800-814-1584.

Check out Ke'vontre's profile story that aired on KPLC-TV.

-Britney